(January 7, 4:32 pm)

He still likes me.
The old prof in ACJ...

I thought it was all over last January itself, when some ppl were able to finally convince him, I was not all that, what they described, a "holy cow."...He falsely believed i had attitude..and he also felt i had a lot of things to mend..

XXX

I guess if i have anything that i must mend, it's my vulnerability..i cant present my case well, whenever in controversy..and that i believe stems from the fact mumma's never been a woman of the household..she's been a scholar, she's been a philanthropist... she's been just too sacrifising in her conduct..

I see boys and girls of my age are much cleverer than me...in dealing with things, in handling situations..because they have seen their fathers and mothers doing that..they have seen their parents toiling and creating space for themselves..from among the crowd..the harsh crowd...and sometimes perhaps even by devious means...occupying what should have belonged more rightfully to others..

Maa dint have to do that..she was placed comfortably in society...and even if she weren't, she wouldnt do that..like she really dint ask dad for any alimony or for our maintenance when she left him..she could have done that easily...for she knew who's who of the town...but she would not wash linen in public..even if that meant letting go off the wealth of money, put in joint accounts..

XXX

Nyways, i was telling i cant defend myself well...and another reason for that could be my attachment for people i like..and for also those who like me...many times thats just delusary..i realise they never liked me..they just liked the fact that i was good at my work..

XXX

I thought this Print prof was one of them...i thought he only felt i was a good student..

but i was wrong..he sent me a lovely new year greetings..and what is to be noticed is, though i had written to him on his Wall he didnt return the gesture over FB...he took time out and wrote separately to my google mail..

Its reassuring,
very reassuring!

XXX