(June 9, 1:20am)
I am back to home after one and a half months... of this, 15 were spent in Delhi and Chennai in the beginning, and then kind of exile.. which I will talk about only later..
Oh, there's so much to talk.. some good ones, some not... and some decisive ones.. but where do I begin..
And then, I feel kind of laid back when I am reminded that I am obliged to mix traces of truth within adequate sheets of discretion..
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Anyway, I will certainly do that... before I leave finally for my studies... which I think I would have already, by this date, the next month..
Doing up the house, as it is nearly two months mess.. and more than that, doing up my mind.. by which I mean invigorating it.. as it was equally a mess in the mind too..
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It's past 1 am, and I am still doing up the house.. today was spent on wardrobes... all the wardrobes which we have.. including some old ones...
which not only needed to be organised but also meticulously cleaned... after taking out the stacks of clothes stuffed perhaps hurriedly and with an obligation to stuff more than what the space could warrant..
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You know what? I got those shawls of mom.. she had been looking for them for at least two winters.. but unsucessfully... it was in our second oldest Godrej almira, now stationed in one corner of the lobby room, which adjoins my bedroom..
Mom would have been so happy if I had got them for her then.. not that it was an issue of, "of-what-do-i-wear".. since she had no dearth of shawls..
But these were some of her favourites.. pure Kashmiri ones... and the other ones with intricate works... Don't know where did she order these from.. back then, when there were no malls, and in small places like my city, not too many good shops either.. at least not the ones, where you would find choicest Kashmiri shawls..
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You know, I did an interesting amalgam.. I like amlgams, as they remind me of the great harmony and love which is present in nature... only that we seldom explore..
I have arranged all these shawls of hers in this new show-case cum wardrobe thing, which my carpenter had specially made for my bedroom.. In Feb, when I was redoing the house.. it's in front of my remodelled bed, and also works as the TV top..
I stacked all the shawls in this very elegantly made wardrobe,.. It will be a treasure trove of life long memories for me.. I can, sometimes when I feel such impulses, just open up the wardrobe and have a second's peep into mom's shawls..
I have always done that.. when I was a child, I would come running to mom in the kitchen.. for just about a second's break from play.. with the other boys outside..
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Talking about the amalgam, I have taken out my own coats and blazers from this wardrobe and hung them in the old Godrej in the lobby room... It earlier used to be our main almira.. when we were younger..
Back in the 90s.. right there, where now my suits are hung, mom would use that space for her everyday wear saris..
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Good night!
I will try to blog more often... just preparing my mind for that.. as the last one and a half months weren't easy... but as Roha* says, since the outcome is positive, I have no right to sulk..
My Kolkata cousin, who stood by me in good stead these six weeks, tells me the same..
But are positive outcomes, reason enough to rejoice? And can you rejoice when all the negative developments, before the final outcome cropped out, have strained you beyond your capacities to endure?
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