(July 31, 11:54pm)

The policy matures on 7th; climax building up... I get an anon call today..it was "his" adviser at the other end.. He tells me he needs my signatures on some paper, as the policy is due next week..

XXX

I laugh to myself...as I have already seen through the trick.. somebody who could go to the extent of forging my signatures for a 75k cheque, will willingly give away a bigger amount?

No ways.. the adviser would just put consolation money in my account, and get the remaining recircled....

XXX

He thought i'd be a fool enuf to believe that, that petty amount was the entire sum..since i do not have any papers..

XXX

Foolish..while in Patna, I hv already got the sum plans issued thru the SC law assistant..my friend..and know exactly, what the amount was..

XXX

"Okay..so you'd credit XYZ amount into my account?" I shoot...

Mr PS is dumbfounded... for seconds or few, there's just not any sound at all..

XXX

He wouldnt have imagined, i knew how much it was..and that spoils his plan of givin me a trifle,makin' me believe it was all, and recycling thereby the lion's share of the booty!

XXX

"Umm..anhh..once you sign, it will be reinvested for your future!"

This time there's apparent lack of confidence...he sounds like a crestfallen commander, whose war-plans have gone suddenly astray..

XXX

"Main apne financial transactions apne advocate se poochhkar karta hoon (thats to be decided by my advocate)..I tell brusquely..

But he attempts again, "Aap chahe to kuch aapke acc me jaayega, baki reinvest hoga..aap secure rahenge future mein" (Well, you cud get some, rest would be reinvested..your future would be secure)..

XXX

I was about to laugh, somebody who had had no contributions to either my past or even my present, was there talking about my future...

"I told you, my advocate would know better!"

XXX

"oK give us ur address in Del, we'd send somebody..."

"I'll tell you evening.."

"Bbye"

XXX

(July 30, 2:34pm)

"For rigorous teachers seized my youth,
And purged its faith, and trimm'd its fire,
Show'd me the high, white star of Truth,
There bade me gaze, and there aspire...
Even now their whispers pierce the gloom,
What dost thou in this living tomb?"

Matthew Arnold

XXX

(July 28, 10:31pm)

At one moment, I want to interview Prabhu chawla...do big stories...move around..conquer the world..

A war-hero's determination guiding me..

And the other moment,

I want to just perish..

XXX

(July 26, 10:35pm)

The Kashmiri friend says, Rhea is v nice..Rhea said, im genuinely nice...i thought anon is nice...but Anon now thinks im not nice..btw, the Kashmiri says im still nice..

XXX

Nanaji's death anniversary today..till 1998, there would be pooja and "bhog" at grannie's place..when in primary school, we would bunk in order to attend..and have the delicious khichdi.. with cousin..

In 1998, the last one, mom had pressed upon me to go school..but i had missed the bus and attended hence... last year, I was in Chennai this day...for ToI interview!

XXX

(July 26, 12:51am)

Met the Kashmiri friend yesterday (24th evening).. at Select City Walk... the one who had come to ACJ, among others...

He needed some help for the job..he quits the current one on 31st... he told me, I was very "polite" and good-natured..

XXX

Hope he doesn't change his viwes..and tell me one day, Im faker than even Pamela Anderson's boobs!

XXX

(July 22, 12:23pm)

There are so many of them, obsessed with their body..always hitting the gym and toning muscles... they aint vain...but if im bothered about my face and my hair-do, im vain..how?

XXX

(July 22, 11:03am)

I still haven't come to terms.. were those brusque lines written really by Anon99? or was that somebody masquerading...

Masquerading..i know that wasn't... but that gives you false reassurance.. reminds me of The Postmaster..the short story by Tagore..

XXX

(July 21, 5:43pm)

Dint have anything all day...and strangely, dont feel hungry either.. only one line reverberates, "You are faker than even Aishwarya Rai!"

XXX

Now at Rajiv Chowk.. will go wth him to some agent in Noida.. he finds us a place today... but yes, without food im totally listless..

XXX

Rejection is a terrible feel..

XXX

(July 21, 2:58pm)

This person has said i always brag, and make display of my affluence..How unreasonable!

XXX

Tell me one occasion when i've bragged.. in fact i know so many ppl who brag all the time, despite their limited qualification..i do not confront even once.. or try bullying them with my achievements..

XXX

As for the blog, i have always maintained im seeking contemplation here.. to abate my depressions... and how do you call it bragging? do i not write about my scarcities as well? about my bankruptcy, about my near starvation?

XXX

It's just self-counselling...still, you call me names.. call me faker than Aishwarya Rai..

XXX

There r so many ppl who wud make gmail status signature, carrying their blog ids... just to advertise.. did i ever do that? whoever follows me, has found me on his own effort... and then you allege im advertising? how?

XXX

(July 21, 2:43pm)

He/she would have thought, how will that matter anyway? I'd dismiss him for her rude comment... give a piece of my mind... and bid ungracious adieu..

PPl generally think im tht..

wrong..

XXX

I still hv the b'de gift papers, treasured in my cupboard..

birthdays as early as in 1993!

XXX

(July 21, 2:32pm)

Still lying in the bed..

curtains all drwan..

XXX

This person has said, Im so fake that he/she has started liking even Aishwarya Rai better..

XXX

And there was this Rhea Gail Lobo in r college, who had once told me over the local train, "I was telling mom yesterday, some people are so genuinely nice!"

XXX

Rhea, who i rarely spoke to, thought i was genuine..and this person who i so much believed, says im faker than even Aishwarya Rai!

XXX

(July 21, 12:53pm)

People love me,

and then they leave me!

XXX

(July 21, 12:52pm)

Feeling miserable.... got a very rude comment today... from somebody i had lot of affinity for... i dont feel like eating up or doing anything...

i just feel like running away home.. and lock myself up in the dark rooms.. Where all my shortcomings would go unnoticed.. or at any rate unrecognised..

XXX

God's mercy, that this should be my day off....

XXX

Nobody would love me ever... or care for me... im sick... im strange.. deserving of only censure..

XXX

When ill have lots of money, ill go and live in the meadows... amid the streams... amid the pastures.. the wind emitting love all around.. and nobody to put scorn.. nobody to frown!

XXX

(July 18, 8:56pm)

In train now... leaving home was difficult.. but im treading carefully... this Rajdhani AC I coach is one such step to keep depression away..

XXX

And then, im not alone this time... mom's here... i have packed everything... her clothes... her accessories.. the mobile phone.. the books.. the prayer books.. Bhagwad Geeta.. the stone studded bangles.. titan raga watch..

XXX

Its a huge luggage... 3 XL American Touristers, plus the hand baggage..

XXX

TSI is givin me stay... at one of Saket's posh guest houses... i hope i'd have found something before 25th!

XXX

Pra*****, the lieutenant friend, came to pick me in his car...

A*********, the doctor, came too...

One person and two cars..the choice was hard to make... somehow i obliged the doctor.. Atul was there too..

XXX

(July 18, 8:37am)

Quite a good response to season I... the total pageviews stand at 543 at 2 weeks.. which is some 39 pageviews per day..

A steep increase of 16-17 from the regular avg of 22-23!

XXX

(July 17, 10pm)

DUKE'S DEVILRY

Season I, Finale

XXX

This webplay is a work of fiction; any resemblance to anybody dead or alive is co-incidental, and is deeply regretted!

XXX

"Ploy Sabotage"

XXX

The duke is totally offensive now.. every canon of decency is dared.. he openly lampoons us, abuses us...

and for every explanation or retort we give,

he has to somehow bring in the college...

and create an impression, that all its pupil are "eat-drink-and-sleep-around" types... who shudnt have either place or respect in civil society!

XXX

Ms Oppressed's pages are said to be devoid of all aesthetics.. I do not know the basic spellings...and neither of us have even minimum level of efficiency..

XXX

And on the top of it, for every minor error, he screams out, "What has KV* extracted 2 lacs for?"

Yeah.... some 25 times he told me that..

(i stopped counting thereafter!)

XXX

At first I thought, these were usual terror tactic... so that we might put in our papers and leave... soon I realise, there was more!

XXX

Read on..

XXX

Im baffled for last few days... after im done with the page and take print outs, the tags go missing..

my sub-editor friends would know there's a separate tag to be used with each of reporter's name..and strapline.. and headline.. picture credit.. the caption..and so on..

XXX

Although, id do that while editing itself, when i take print-outs, all these would be without the proper tags..

XXX

Forcing me thus, to rework on it again, and at the nth hour..

and with the duke shouting from behind:

"If you had given those 2 lacs to even a zilla school, they would have filled something inside your head at least..........."

XXX

Now the thing is, im very organised..i may have 100 other shortcomings, but when it comes to work im totally sincere... and i employ good method to the work too..

So im beginning to smell rat gradually..

but then..first, its not in my nature to blame unless im sure.. and second, even after rampant abuses, i hadnt been able to preempt a "sabotaging" of that nature!

XXX

Anyway...here's where the duke faltered.. had he done this to only 1 of us, we wouldnt get an inkling..

But he tried on both..

XXX

So one fine evening, Ms O tells me... with lot of ambiguity in her own mind... "There's something strange... I put the tags correctly everyday... and everywhere required.. but somehow it goes missing!"

XXX

I turn my face with almost a hopping impact.. her eyes widen... i make a flutter with the hand and hit my head.... her eyebrows tighten... and we both guffaw in disgust..

XXX

We are making a list diligently... and religiously everyday... to list all the tampering this "foul-mouthed-irritant" would do to our pages...

and then take us to task for the same..

and abuse our professors for the same!

XXX

Even while typing this my blood is boiling...

that *astard...

XXX

I do not have either time or space to produce his misadventures everyday.. so for a sample, let us take January 31 randomly.. and see what all tampering he did to my page..

XXX

A story titled, Students of MCOAHS given farewell becomes Students of MCOHS given farewell!

A headline, Decision on property tax deferred becomes Decision property tax deferred!

Quotation marks from one of the infoboxes (which was mandatory) disappear!

Two brieflies, which he himself had copy-edited, and the word limit of which he himself had decided, and which he had even approved to be pasted on the page, are shrinked by 20 words...without rhyme or reason...

Thus creating a hollow space of 3 inches in the side bar.... at 11pm.... with the deadline too stipulated at 11pm!

Besides, a briefly titled Munde calls for stir, becomes, Munde class for stir!

And of-course the byline tag in at least three stories go missing!

XXX

And then the same nauseating stuff:

"What did KV* extract 2 lacs for?"

XXX

You know what, he should be dragged to the roundabout and shown the middle finger!

XXX

And now comes the climax.. the duke goes on leave in the new year weekend.. and before he departs, he instructs the bandit (who would be heading the shift) to employ the same tricks!

XXX

Never he would have thought this would backfire so badly!

XXX

Now it so happens, bandit is exact specie of the duke...but minus the brains.. so while the duke would cleverly delete only the tags.. verbs...or spellings... the bandit deletes the entire headline!

Lol!

XXX

Night of January 1, 2011

XXX

Ms O suddenly realises, that one of the major stories in her page is without the headline.. and this, at 11pm... when she was about to take the print out!

XXX

Her endurance gives up...

she shoots heads on.. "Sir, suddenly the headline disappears?"

XXX

The bandit is dumbfounded for a second...

but the next moment, he's the lion heart..

"Huh... where is the headline?"

"Huh... dont you know there's a headline in each story?"

"Huh... werent you taught?"

"Huh... you stupid... gave KV* 2 lacs for nothing!"

XXX

Ms O's face is red... eye balls aint moving... breaths coming out with deafening sound.. and then.. "Thats exactly what i want to know... where's the headline?"

XXX

"How dare you.......... You SHAMELESS woman from *CJ!"

XXX

"Dont talk to me like that.."

"Shut up you SHAMELESS WOMAN.........."

XXX

"If i had forgotten the headline, i would have been caught in the copy editing stage itself!"

"Shameless *CJian"

XXX

"Which means i had put the headline very much there"

"Shameless woman!"

XXX

"Which means the headline must have been removed at a later stage"

"Shameless!"

XXX

End of Season I

XXX

So how would Ms O react now?

Slap him?

Show him the middle finger?

Or run out crying?

All that and more in Season II

XXX

Goodbye and Thank you!

XXX

(July 17, 10:58am)

Leaving for Del tomorrow...

Work begins wednesday...

XXX

House rent here: advance paid till Sep

Society maintenance: adv paid till Sep

Cable again till Sep..

Servants too!

XXX

Still to find a stay in Noida.. the agents have discussed few options, though..will check them out.. If im takin a society apartment, i cant afford a furnished one..

The unfurnished itself is for 13k..

XXX

There's this furnished 1bhk in independent villa... with proper kitchen and hall.. ac, tv too.. but it's not society apartment..

XXX

If i werent having depressions, id have settled for sth in 6-7k... on PG basis.. but i need max comfort and privacy...thats the cure..

XXX

Let's see..

XXX

(July 16, 10pm)

DUKE'S DEVILRY

Season I, Webisode VI

XXX

This webplay is a work of fiction; any resemblance to any person dead or alive is co-icidental, and is deeply regretted!

XXX

oKay..i was mentally ill.. yeah you heard right.. sometime around December that was..latest of duke's ploys..

XXX

It so happened, somebody spotted me reading in library.. but since the book in the desk was too small, he dusnt notice it..

jumps to conclusions.. and tells Mr Buddha Hoga Tera Baap i was talking to myself..

Mr BHTB passes this on to the duke... and they together piss Ms O with their no end of questioning on my sanity levels!

XXX

"Does A has problems?" BHTB puts it straight..

Ms O was like, "What???"

"Hello??"

"Have you boozed too much????"

XXX

Anyway we think of a ploy to clear the air.. and as decided, Ms O shoots one evening... "There's some talk bout you talking....to urslf?"

I instantly react with the prepared stuff.. with all those OMG smileys at once.. and the blink blink, oh im-heated-all-under-the-collar expressions!

Followed by veneer of anger..and then suitable explanation...

and this all, before ppl to watch!

XXX

It worked...when the crowd there actually gets to hear the whole stuff, they were like.. they had this roller coaster laugh!

XXX

Save the duke though!

XXX

He sees in it another ploy...how nice it wud be na, if this Nazi skul pass out can be proven crackpot, and thereby thrown out!

XXX

The bandit is Sent out again..numerous times...and to all those ppl who had bought my explanation and were satisfied...

XXX

Rampant rumour mongering...fabricated stories... invented incidences go on..im spotted on all the wrong places..on all the wrong times.. even when id be quietly sitting at the desk!

Monday i speak to the walls,

Tuesday the windows..

Wednesday the flower pot in the reception,

and Thursdays, anyway, i date the canteen utensils!

XXX

And you know what.... wherever id go, duke wud come following me...

Just to prove these weren't rumours.. that he had actually witnessed!

XXX

And at least on two occasions, he followed me to even the loo~!

But thankfully, stories of my talking to the toilet seat didnt crop up!

So generous of the duke~!

XXX

Anyway...

lets move to their "Ploy Sabotage!"

XXX

Or should we have it on the finale..

tomorrow 10pm

XXX

(July 15, 9:58pm)

An ACJian friend is in town..Going for lnch with her.. tomorrow!

XXX

(July 15, 9:55pm)

It was 10 months yesterday..

XXX

This time, the ambiance was more bejewelling.. I have got this beautiful lamp over the display pic.. and bunches of artificial flowers too..

In the green pot.. which contrasts the bottle green curtains..

XXX

it's time to leave..

i wouldnt be around to put natural flowers every time..

XXX

Still, I got the tuberose garland..

but no roses..

XXX

There were those daisy (or may be sth akin)..

in fiery oranges!

XXX

(July 15, 9:37pm)

My amnesia prob just dusnt seem to go..and dont assume it's only a minor thing..happening periodically..given that i don't write about it too often..

I have been advised not to..

XXX

Was speaking to the agents..a few of them..for the flat in Noida.. and im just not able to remember the names.. or the nature of the properties discussed..

I have to scroll all the names in my cell..and it's only upon seeing them that i can recall.. and then there wud be so many other names there, that i just cannot recall..

XXX

In Mangalore, it was worse.. the other day, there, I wasnt even able to remember my lawyer's name..can you imagine?

still other day, I had no clues about my room-mate's name..I had to scroll for that even..

XXX

What do i do/

And you know I had this amazing memory..just last week, Thu****, an acjian friend, rings me up askin for a certain name in certain anecdote.. which Na**** mam had discuseed in Identities class..

Incidentally, nobody had been able to recall.. and it was then that N***il, another ACJian friend, suggested he contacted me..

XXX

And I actually replied in a second..

Correctly..

XXX

Which tells me Im not remembering the recent incidents..after the September thing..

XXX

(July 14, 10pm)

There wont be any webcast of Duke's Devilry today,

inconvenience caused is regretted!

XXX

Catch Webisode VI on Saturday 10pm,

Season's finale on Sunday 10pm..

XXX

(July 13, 11:07pm)

Two years since ACJ... How time flies!

XXX

There I was outside my hotel... gulping the sandwich, in awful hurry to col!

via, Park Town...

my first stint with local trains..

XXX

The orientation..the profs.. the ice-breaking.. and this hell lot of ppl out there.. !

XXX

I tried the black shirt first..then the blue... and settled for the T instead.. Oh! Im always so conscious bout everything... A99 rightly reminds, I shudnt..

XXX

In the lunch, I wetted the hanky and rubbed my face vigorously.. so in the new period, before the new prof, I aint be lookin' jaded!

XXX

Bindoo Ma'am it was!

The first afternoon module..

XXX

(July 12, 10pm)

DUKE'S DEVILRY

Season I, Webisode V

XXX

This webplay is a work of fiction; any resemblance to any person dead or alive is co-incidental, and is deeply regretted!

XXX

Finally this happens.. Evil Duke gets tired.. and afterall why not? He abuses us, we keep quiet.. he frames us, we keep quiet.. he sullies our college's name, we still do not react.. he makes sexual jibes, we smile and concentrate back on work!

XXX

So he has a new formula.. He stops cooperating at work..and goes full length rumour mongering about **ruta **atnal (an *CJian reporter sending us stories for, say, the XYZ page)!

XXX

Oh! we will be heated up all under the collar..call her up... tell her all that he told.. she will weep.. we will console..and he wud have great pleasure...

XXX

Uncle.... ppl have other works out there too!

XXX

Anyway, so here it goes!

Evil Duke, Take 1..

"Sir, what do you say this headline is okay?"

Duke (with that expression of the exploited, mostly found in Nirupa Roy's face): "Why does *itta *acob with three years experience get 17 thousands, while *CJ greenhorns get 30 thousands?"

XXX

Hmmm .... why not ask the management sir (words not spoken)..

XXX

Evil Duke, take 2

"Sir, shall this be a DC pic?"

Duke (Imagine he was smokin', and he puffs it out on ur face...how he must have desired to do that anyway): "Why does **ruta **atnal stay alone in Puna?"

XXX

Evil Duke, Take 3

"No idea,Sir.. Sir is a strapline needed here?"

Duke: "Why is **ruta **atnal not workin in home town?"

XXX

Evil Duke, Take 4

"Sir, it's 10:45.. can I have the lead story?"

Duke (perceive a fake bewilderment): "So who is **ruta **atnal staying with in Puna?"

(And guys I tell you, he wasnt looking for her female PG mate's name here).....

XXX

Evil Duke, Take 39

"Sir, shall I shrink the story more?"

Duke (With that cocky smile of his): "So how do her parents know she aint into any wild things there?"

XXX

"BoseDK uske baap ko problem nahi hai, tere ko kyun problem hai......." I chewed the words...and the goof that he was, he couldnt lip-read me either!

XXX

Then, I thought it was just antics..now I know, it was a definite and premeditated effort to show us in wrong light... us *CJians..

XXX

You know what, he wud want everybody else to believe we are debauch.. that's his idea of self-satisfaction...

Sick!

XXX

Anyway..his obsession with **ruta **atnal doesnt end here.. now he has another ploy.. he will keep her stories pending...delay the particular page..then ring up *angalore.. and tell them because **ruta dint send her stories timely, the production got messed!

Can you believe this?

For long time he actually manages to do this cleverly.. infact even we two were miffed up with **ruta.. specially when we had always known her as punctual and professional, while in college..but thanks to some FB conversations, the truth is out soon..

XXX

And then we had this list of some 6-8 occasions, when **ruta did send her stories timely.. and this imp hid it in his basket..kept everybody waiting.. sabotaged the production.. and then rung up *angalore again to pass the guilt to **ruta!

XXX

In fact when we still do not react to it, (how he would have loved that maimed expression contouring our faces all over) he comes and tells Ms O particularly:

"Hey listen..there had been an enquiry why XYZ page is getting delayed everyday.. I replied in two words... **ruta **atnal!"

XXX

Sick, I tell you sick!

XXX

(July 12, 4:12pm)

There is this June 19 post.. called "Jhansi ki Rani ends today...."

I dnt know who's this person..he reads that everyday.. everyday i'll have 1-2 pageviews of that post, necessarily..

XXX

(July 12, 12:07am)

Ever since the webisodes, I 've had my best pageviews.. 331 over eight days.. which comes to some 41 a day..

But not all are equally liked.. like, while webisode I was an instant hit, the second one bombed badly.. third one could be called above average..while the forth again is big hit!

XXX

(July 11, 8:08pm)

Aamir's shit is hit..

watched Delhi Belly wth friends today!

XXX

(July 10, 8:51pm)

Bharati ji, who I have reassigned the house-keepin' n all..and whom im paying a handsome daily allowance, was overjoyed today..

"(With the money) Im gettin' party food for the kids every day.. Friday, I cooked them kheer and poori... and today, chicken..."

XXX

Im happy for her... whenever mumma would see the poor happy, she'd be happy.. and she'd always try to add on to that..with money.. with laughter..

XXX

(July 10, 8:44pm)

Chandanji had just come..

for the final signatures and all..

"You're sure this won't land me any trouble?"

"Come'on...the LICs are your...the claimant is you!"

XXX

(July 10, 3:49 pm)

Stay tuned for webisode IV...

Sunday special.... Chamku Aunty arrives!

XXX

(July 09, 10:37pm)

Okay... the battle ground is laid... im applying for duplicate sureties.. the LIC ones.. I told you na, he wudnt ever return the originals.....

R has introduced his advisor to me, who's handling the paperwork.. we needed 4 "Jamaanatdars" to stand guarantee..

XXX

Mr M volunteered to be one...

R arranged the rest three..

XXX

The affidavits and the petition were readied today.. The advisor files it Monday.. God, there are so many risks involved.. "His" agent, through whom the LICs were issued in 2004, is a powerful one...

XXX

I hope he dusnt get an inkling till the surrendered amount is credited..into my acc..

XXX

Even thereafter, there would be risks..

lets contemplate what all?

XXX

Case I.. "He" calls me up.. and alleges of fraud (ironically after robbing mom's 16lac-worth share of the land, and also counterfeiting my signs last year..and getting away with 75k... guess there are too many dukes that live!)..

Well, Id simply forward the call to my HC advocate, in that event..

And anyway, the LIC s are in my name..im just gettin the duplicate papers done..

XXX

But if he gets into a legal imbroglio, then?

XXX

The advisor says he's phrasing the petition such ambiguously that there would be rooms to prove I had lost the bonds at his place..and he had falsely not returned it..

XXX

But I must have other defences ready, right?

Okay... so one defence would be, Id file a complaint too... of the last year's deceit.. and that would persuade him to backtrack, hopefully..

If that doesn't work, I'd approach the ********ans... the influential family friends.. they would handle that comfortably, I guess..

XXX

Will he actually go such lengths..I dont know.. anything can be possible...im too sceptical now... wud i ever have known, while I was in ACJ.. that he would actually be such mean to me.. God, he used to call me 4-4 times a week!

XXX

This Lieutenant friend came to meet me today..he's on a 7-day holiday here.. he'd been telling me, the land in Bihar Samiti has shot up to 50 lacs a kattha (1250 sqft)..

I calculated mom's share..

16lac 50 thousands..

XXX

Anyway..it's useless crying over spilt milk..i cannot prove the usurpation anyway..

Id be gettin 32k in TSI... barely enuf to pay for the rents for the two apartments.. im including the Delhi apartment too..

XXX

If i weren't havin depressions, I could have gone for PG... but i know the cure... it has to have a high rise apartment... with wall hangings all around.. mumma's pics.. the lamps beneath them.. silk curtains.. sofas.. crystal chandeliers..

XXX

(July 07, 10pm)

DUKE'S DEVILRY

Season I, Webisode III

XXX

This Webplay is a work of fiction; any resemblance to anybody dead or alive is co-incidental, and is deeply regretted!

XXX

Convinced that the sexual jokes could neither imperil us nor distract us, the Evil Duke looks for other options.. he turns meaner..... and he schemes relentlessly with the bandit..

Thinking of ways to sully our names.... and malign *CJ...

seemingly his only purpose in life..

XXX

Money is foremost expedient to arising envy, the Duke (Below left) knew that well... So he gets the bandit to leak our pay packages at once..to reporters..to accountants..to ad guys... everybody..

And that was brilliant ploy.. people's disposition to us changes almost instantly.. our credentials are questioned.... we are pet named "A*J cry-babies" ... we are called mama's boys.. and all this, relentlessly... acrimoniously.....

The Evil Duke himself had the audacity to tell us repeatedly that we were earning our butter rather than bread...

In fact the other day, when i got my first pay letter, he tells me disdainfully "Eh..look.. ur butter has come!"

XXX

Assured that the initial bonhomie in office is replaced by injected envy, the Duke tries ploy 2.. the editorial gets a make-over..

XXX

Welcome to the Duke's new fish market... this crappy fellow starts encouraging office rowdies to gang up in the editorial ... and do as much "hulla tamasha" as they desired...

pagination people... teleprinter people.. electricians.. generator persons... canteen persons... and who not.. every dam person was influenced by the duke to push in a chair and talk relentlessly inside that 10 by 10 chamber..

XXX

Just imagine the situation... some 14-15 chairs inside it.. and all rowdies grouping up together against us.. there wouldnt be space to move.. and we wouldnt be able to concentrate at all.. specially when all that Kannada talk was very much directed in our ridicule..

XXX

Okay i dont understand Kannada.. but if the word *CJ crops up every second minute.. followed by phrases like "just a certificate".... "all pomp".... "braggarts on holiday",... "well-off rowdies"... and supported by immediate jeers and catcalls... then i obviously dnt need an Einstien's brain to find out what they meant...

XXX

Ms Opressed would feel so uncomfortable, that she'd walk out and kill time elsewhere.. hoping they would be gone...

while on the one hand he wouldnt let us work, on the other, when we'd leave cabin helplessly, he would prompt people to comment "hi fi stuff.." "break ke baad" and thousand other shit..

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So one fine evening we give them a piece of our mind... and tell them they aint welcome.. no direct talk...but definite and disagreeable indications..

I now realise we had only walked the trap..thats exactly what the duke wanted..to prove to people we were haughty..

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And the funniest thing was Ms O or Mr A will never be the lone players.. he'd use everything en bloc and lampoon *CJ as community...

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If i were haughty, all *CJians were haughty...

If i were indisciplined, all *CJians were indisciplined...

If I were fraud, all *CJians were fraud..

If i were wearing pink speedo (i swear i do not), all *CJians were wearing pink speedo...

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Gawd.... im telling you, he's the only one in his lot!

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Anyway.. after we made our disapproval apparent.. he went around telling people, the two marauders from Nazi school are so class conscious that they dont allow others to even enter the editorial...

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They treat people from other departments with contempt... belittle them... make fun of their clothes.. and sneer at their middle income etiquette..

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"Thakta nahi tu?" sometimes I felt like asking him..

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Anyway...having won us many adversaries, the Duke now goes "fulltoosh" abusive...

He calls us the other day, and shows this group photo from Facebook..or may be the desktop... and pointing to this girl, asks us if we knew her..

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And then explains how she had been a bad addict..had to be taken for rehabilitation umpteen times... still not cured...

How her upbriging, a rich upbringing, was responsible for it all...and then of-course the rich daddy and their spoilt children narratives.. which i really do not have either time or the energy to reproduce..

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And then all at once he explodes laughing...

That crazy vibrator one..

We ask him flummoxed,

"why whats wrong?"

"No, nothing"...

"She aint addict"

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"Then why tell us she an addict?"

Ghheghee gheh hee heh heh..ghegh gheh ..ghe ghe gheh..

"Because she's also from *CJ..."

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Ghheghee gheh hee heh heh..ghegh gheh ..ghe ghe gheh..

your senior.. 2009 batch...

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Ghheghee gheh hee heh heh..ghegh gheh ..

"Used to be under me in Bangalore.. before I arrived here.."

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Ghheghee gheh hee heh heh..ghegh gheh ..ghe ghe gheh..

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Such has been his hatred for *CJ..

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Next Webisode

Sunday 10pm

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(July 05, 10pm)

DUKE's DEVILRY

Season I, Webisode II

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This Webplay is a work of fiction; any resemblance to anybody dead or alive is co-incidental, and is deeply regretted!

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Okay.. I need to be honest.. on my first encounter with this Evil Duke, I hadn't found him disagreeable.. although the bandit, I vouch, looked absolute thug (imposter)..

In fact I got little sceptical about my college-mate cum colleague (let's call her Ms Oppressed), who had relentlessly called me up while I hadn't joined.. and given lurid accounts of the Duke's DEVILRY!

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How silly of me, I now reprove myself...

what do I do... Deception is always beautifully enamelled.. and the Duke's a classic example!

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Anyways, he showed his colors rather soon..and im glad he did..

Hidden enemy is powerful enemy, after all!

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And yes, my character in the play is called "A"..

and A stands for anonymous, aint it?

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So one fine evening, he pats me on the shoulder...and upon my turning back, shoots: "When are you resigning?"

Im telling you, for a moment I couldnt reconcile..and had it not been for Ms O's earlier warnings, I wouldnt be able to reconcile at all.. Humour was useless defence.. the duke obviously lacked the class to either acknowledge it or accommodate it..

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In fact he got abusive...and then *CJ appeared like phantom from the ashes... and was lambasted at.. and lambasted is such a trifle expression, I tell you...

He presented the college as though it were the alma mater of the Nazis... "big daddy's sons...pompous.. uncivil... haughty.. narcissistic.. empty vessels... debauch.. " and what not..

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"Arre maa behen hi keh diya hota... time to save hota!" I thought to myself, while the crowd there laughed and giggled and clapped!

He got encouraged.. I remember that blatant exercise that followed.. He raised his right hand and pronounced "I hate *CJ.. and listen we are a big gang out here!"

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Anyway, I obviously got accustomed to not replying, while the moron kept pressing me for my resignation date ... Ms O's case was still more unfortunate.. the Duke kept inquiring of her why werent she working in her home town..

"Swollen head, jaha mila waha kar rahi hoon..."

I would decipher Ms O's silence..but the duke wouldnt!

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And then...believe me he actually said this... "I know, you girls behave like saints in front of your parents..and behind the back you do everything..and thats exactly what takes you to far off places like this..."

("You do everything" will be uttered the loudest..and with the most ignoble smile... and with every other demeanour that would goad you to read **x.. btw the lines)..

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It's still a mystery why Ms Opressed didnt give him a taste of her sandals...

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Anyway... it was the forth or fifth day... this gentleman... lets call him Buddha hoga tera Baap (obviously in corollary to his colourful antics that suited neither his age nor his stature)..

he asks me whether I was a bachelor or not.. and before I could reply.. the duke bombarded, "Well we already know he's a bachelor, so the question should be whether he'd been cohabitating or not?"

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And that wasnt the lone one.. First he kept insisting I should stop finding myself a house as the top man of the organisation (who had provided me hotel stay, as per the organisation's norms) was so CLOSE to me...and that I should rather press upon him to extend the privilege round the year and pay the bills for me..

And the top man's first name..and the phrase "so close to you" were told so effectively and loudly that everybody would hear it and also believe it!

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I really regret why did i convince him that the top man wasnt so close, after all.. Would you like to know why?

Because...now he had another excuse why I shouldnt find myself a house..

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"Become a live-in with Ms O!"

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Perhaps that was the only moment in life I was dumbfounded.. and I was so ashamed actually that I actually dint tell Ms O (who had her day off) about it at all... The Duke helped anyway..

When I meet Ms O, next of next day (as the next day was my off), she grumbles with fury: This *astard was telling me yesterday, "Why dont you take "A" Home?"

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Next Webisode

Thursday 10pm

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(July 05, 10:37am)

It is my faith in the Goddess, that i should still be hopeful..and strive to survive.. and take time out to battle the wolf in the evil duke..and expose him.. not to garner sympathy..

but to let you know how ugly work-place hiccups could turn..to inform you..to aware you..

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When i wake up in the morning, it's such a different world.. there're so many jungles of things to sort..

KD, mom's rakhi brother's son, was telling me...if he were my place. he'd have lost his peace..perished..

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Just met the LIC advisor..he paid a visit to my place.. we have discussed how to get the duplicate sureties issued, and claim the money.. and also prevent the one which was maturing, from getting usurped..like the 75k cheque was usurped last year..

i told him i cud handle the latter thing..

"get the first one done.."

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And between it, im having depressions again.. i knew i would.. once it was time again to leave home..

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I knew the cure though..i shud hire a very comfortable stay at Del... high rise apartment... good furnitures.. curtains... mom's pictures all around... beaming her affection from behind the splendid frames..

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But how do i do it?

im totally dismayed..

why should this ever happen to me?????

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(July 04, 3:44pm)

It was a cold January afternoon...but abounding in sunshine, and unusually joyful.. I was in the terrace that joined the chambers inside our cottage house..

Off from college, mumma joined the maid..

without a moment's break.....

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I pounced upon the new course-books she had brought.. Std I began next week, but the wait sprawled out in eras...

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The Gulmohar was my fav..so far I hadn't had mine.. only seen cousin and bro have theirs... with a child's harmless envy..

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The first chapter looked enticing..a frail, long man with this doggy hovering around.. children like doggies, don't they?

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I could read English, but not understand it then.. so maa was called out... she sneaked from kitchen.. with turmeric in hands.. and turning the pages in rapid gesture..with the edge of her fingers, so as to not stain it..she read out and explained..!

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Jesus's kindness prevailing upon a jungle beast!

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Do they still have the same chapter for Std I?

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(July 04, 3:25pm)

My depression is coming back...and with the speed of a marauding army.. the timing couldn't be worse...Im joining work on 20th.... if i am, at all..

You would read a defeatist in the lines..I wish if you could only read at all...

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"You seem so far away, though you're standin' near...

You made me feel alive, but something died I fear!"

(Mamma Mia)

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(July 04, 11:04am)

Never had so many audience so shortly..

After yesterday's 48 in 3 hours, I get 19 more from US.. and 6 from Malaysia too...

for webisode 1...

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(July 04, 2:05am)

My first webisode is a super hit.... some 48 people read it...and im actually awake checking the stats every minute...and interestingly all are from India..barring this person from Malaysia..

Hmmm...48 pageviews in 3 and half hours.. good enough..thank you everybody.. love you.. when i write my novel, will that too be well-received?

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(July 03, 10pm)

DUKE's DEVILRY

Season I, Webisode I

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This Webplay is a work of fiction; any resemblance to anybody dead or alive is co-incidental, and is deeply regretted!

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Okay, let me begin the tale with how they laughed.. little gestures speak volumes about your personality after all....and particularly, it's laughter that often describes the heart it rolls out from..

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So you all must be remembering Rahul Mahajan's grotosque laughter, right? people anyway remember two things always- one which overwhelms them, and also the one which nauseates them...

My US readers (cant ignore, when there have been more than 700 pageviews from there) can type "Rahul Dulhaniya le Jayega" on youtube, and watch any one of the episodes randomly..he guffawed indiscriminately anyway..

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Okay, what you need to do is put that into a crazy vibrator... ghen he he..ghnehe..gheh he he.. gnehhhehheee gheenh he he he... gheeh gheh gheheheh he he....and thats how he laughed..the Evil Duke..

and at the drop of a hat.. at the sexual jokes that were hurled...in his wanton attacks on *CJ...and its students..and teachers..and staffs.. and attendants..and campus.. and classrooms.. and boards.. and dusters.. and projectors.. and library.. and swimming pools (and even though we hadnt one!)...

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Talking about the bandit... his was like, as though he had been remembering some mms clip in leisure... the one where the leading lady's towel had slipped... and then explode into shake-ur-booty type... gasping irresistibly for more!

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Next Webisode,

Tuesday 10pm

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Thanks for the read,

stay tuned!

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(July 02, 6:22pm)

Launching soon, Duke's Devilry!

Catch the Webisodes every Sundays, Tuesdays, Thursdays......

@10pm..

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Concept inspired by Evil Duke and co

Webplay and copyright: AB Productions

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