(October 31, 10:22pm)

Back to Delhi.. with fever and cold..

Looking for a new house..

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(October 29, 9:39pm)

Having some quiet moments here in the hall.. on mom's chair, in the dining space.. at the other end of the hall, the puja is aglow with diyas..

The house looks really good in silk and lace curtains, and sofa spreads.. the tv is on too... though im not really audience..

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Rehman uncle's goat is heard crying aloud intermittently, from the 6th floor backyard.. they will sacrifise it on 7th, upon Bakrid..

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Diwali was gratifying.. There was so much to eat and indulge, besides the company of good friends.. And God's grace, i performed Laxmi Ganesh puja just as observantly and devotedly..

Bharati ji, the maid, too observed puja in her house.. i gave away both money and in kind, for her children...it gives me peace.. it gives everybody peace, when you make those little efforts to make others happy!

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Visited Mrs Ghosh yesterday.. mom's former princi.. the octogenarian Bengali lady who lives in her 7,000 sq ft bunglow in New Dak Bungalow (her husband passed away in 2003, while her only dot is settled in Gujarat with young kids)..

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She's in big fix.. one imposter has cooked up a story that she sold him her bungalow for 20 lacs in 2008.. and that despite she was paid all in cash then, she's not inclined to vacate her place..

He has forged her signatures and everything, and lodged a case in Badh, a faraway village.. where the sessions court has summoned her presence on 16th..

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Can you believe this? Why should she ever sell her house, her dead husband's only memorabilia? And why on earth for 20 lacs? When the actual price runs into crores?

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Anyway, she's been provided round the clock security by the DGP.. and she's determined to fight it out too.. "Let them go any extent, im not running away from my rightful place?" she tells me assuredly..

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Patna has never been safe for us Bongs.. Earlier in 2006, Papiya Ghosh, another single Bong woman, was murdered in broad day light for land-grab..

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Mrs G's story is the talk of the town.. she showed me the paper cuttings.. it's come out in all English and Hindi dailies..plus the regional channels.. HT published it on front page..

You can find one of the reports here http://www.bihartimes.in/Newsbihar/2011/Oct/newsbihar26Oct6.html

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Train to catch tomorrow.. will be resuming work on 31st.. being home is such peace!

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(October 25, 3:29pm)

Reached home.. the maids are doing the house.. i suspect this will take good many hours more.. Bharati ji earlier got the grocery and other things, and washed the clothes..

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Would be going out in the evening to see lights.. it's beautifully decked up everywhere.. have to get the orange kurta altered too..

And of-course, you like to shop too, when such nice "bazaar" is put up everywhere.. make-believe shops, with festive items!

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What did i keep complaining about mom all life? is my economics any better? am i any less wasteful...

Had gone to get a simple puja space spread, but ended up buying entire range of designer curtains, sofa spreads, soft pillows, accounting some 22 thousands!

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Like mom, like son? Not fully.. mom would invest for social causes just equally generously.. im being mean..

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(October 25, 1:26am)

At New Delhi airport now... flight at 7am.. and that means i need to kill six hours here.. without sleep, without comfort..and much less, without knowing what exactly to do..

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It was such nice of Saibal sir to take us for lunch today.. me, one girl and another guy.. Diwali treat, you see..

Went to this place called Shipra mall... some 5 kms from office.. Saibal sir drove.. and God those were the best kebabs there.. we had chocolate fudge ice-cream for dessert..

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Before we were office again, I demanded i'd shop.. i know i wouldnt have time once im home.. din't i list those things-to-do in the last post?

There wouldn't be time to buy clothes.. and since i'd be doing Laxmi puja, thats something essential rather than spree.. plus i thought, the kurta at Fab India was just that made-for-me stuff..

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And you know i like trying these dresses.. even when, like this time the orange one on display, id be too sure which one to take..

But, i did for sometime think the green one was good too, and many others too as i tried one after another..

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Colleagues suggested it would be perfect finish with pair of jeans.. but i told them i'd be doin puja, and i dont like wearing jeans such occasions..

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I eventually got a milky white "churidar" to contrast the kurta in fiery orange..

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Hmm..

six hours you see..

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(October 23, 9:21pm)

So many things lined up.. it's production day at office tomorrow, which means I'll have to hang around till midnight... add to it, I have early morning flight to board (on Tuesday).. and the airport is some 30 km away..

So, what I have planned is, once I am done at office at around 11:30pm, I'll ask the cab to first take me home, where I'll collect the suitcase, and then head for airport..

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But even when I am home (in my native city, on Tuesday late morning), there's gonna be no respite.. It's Deepawali on Wednesday.. and I need to celebrate that.. so Tuesday's gonna be all day of house keeping, house cleaning.. after which I need to shop too..

Bharati ji and co are no doubt sincere and trained.. but you know when it's festival, you can't just pull it on others totally..

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Anyway, I need to pack..

but first let me have dinner, im famished..

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It's not that im all game for Diwali.. like i'd be excited other years.. but the celebration has to be big time.. with sweets and crackers and rituals and new clothes.. everything..

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It's been long since we celebrated.. Hindu rituals demand, you abstain for a year.. and then I missed out on Durga Puja, too... as I went home for the death anniversary thing, and returned just ahead of DP..

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So, here's hopefully having a big Diwali... I don't remember there had ever been such long gaps in celebration.. in rituals.. the house seems bereft of 'faith'...so in some sense its obligatory..

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We bongs mark Kali puja on Diwali.. unlike non-Bengalis who celebrate Laxmi puja.. but I'd go for the latter... Kali puja is elaborate.. and it's difficult for one person to arrange it..

I have widely consulted for the rituals.. and hopefully i'd be able to do it.. Laxmi puja is not all that complex... and then, i have grown up watching grannie doing all that anyway..

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Once I am home I'd catch up again..

Bbbyeee..

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(October 18, 12:04am)

MADHURI DIXIT TURNS BRAND AMBASSADOR OF OLAY!

NOW ISN'T THIS NEWS OF SORTS?

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And yes Duke, I again asked my boss for Diwali holiday...and got it too... full 7 days.. nobody throwing me out of the company..

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(October 16, 11:51pm)

This morning i kept dreaming of muma... and little unusually i would say.. although i had gone to bed rather late, at 3am, my sleep was neither sound nor continued..

And unlike the late-into-the-night sessions, this was early morning thing, which repeated itself at intervals throughout some 2-3 hours..

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Was it something to do with Durga Puja? As i remember muma opening the doors for me one time and another, as i hurriedly popped in and out of our house.. typical of the festive season, when i'd be on toes and keep going out for getting my list of things done...

Am i really missing Durga Puja this big?

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Whatever, those were beautiful moments.. every year as we went about cleaning the house this season- marketing for Puja full in swing- there's was an adventure there.. i could feel that around this morning, albeit illusorily!

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(October 15, 8:42pm)

It was year and a month yesterday.. couldn't do the flowers, but prayed still.. flowers require ambiance, arrangement.. prayers can be abstract...

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(Oct 14, 2:10am)

Tomorrow will be Madhuri's first public appearance... for Emeralds for elephants.. can't wait to see her...

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Click on the picture to enlarge..

this is from her latest shoot!

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(October 9, 11:52pm)

MADHURI DIXIT RETURNS TO INDIA FOR GOOD!

OH, HOW I HAD WAITED FOR THIS!!!

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(October 7, 2:58pm)

Why is my depression back again?
and this forcefully..

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Is it because i dint have that gr8 Durga Puja?

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In so many ways, I'm the idle lover of arts... desiring its reflection in life through festive gaities.. in lively, joyful chatter of friends..

And sometimes just silent, long afternoons.. thinking about times gone by.. living dead moments again... power of recollection mitigating changes impressed upon by time!

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Or is it the going in office that's bothering me? But why? Din't i interview Sameer Ahluwalia just the other day? Why this hollowness, then? Why a feel this is empty splendour, shadowless bliss?

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A strong mind, and a fragile mind...
they both are me..

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I know it's mind over matter.. but there must be reconciliation there.. the dearth of it upsets me, and casts its pallor on me..

Unkindly.. all at once...
Like haughty waves ripping off every footprint on sand!

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But still....
when I write, I feel I am alive..

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(October 6, 9:03pm)

Happy Vijaya Dashami to all,

May Goddess Durga always see you through!

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Sorry for losing touch, had been v busy applying for fellowships.. well, I have decided I won't remain the most illiterate in the family...

It was good experience.. since the applications have to be supported with relevant cover letters, it was lots of reading off late..and then, i re-connected with the ACJ profs for recommendation.. it's good to know they think of me just as fondly.. especially KVK sir, Nishat sir..

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A Bengali colleague had invited me to her place today.. over machher jhol-bhaat (rice and fish).. sacrosanct on Bijoya Dashomi for all Bongs..

It was good time there..

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I had parcelled good food and snacks, sweets for evening... did the house first and then washed.. and then remembered the Gods in prayer.. and mama, of-course, who's always there..

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(Oct 3, 11:52pm)

Will interview Sameer Ahulwalia tomorrow!

Zee Business' Editor!

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