(January 11, 12:08 night)

The blower keeps her room warm...otherwise it is biting cold in Patna..and trust me, literally! I see they haven't outraged my instructions really..they dare not..

Im too harsh when it comes to having my way...especially with things that mirror my weakness..and so, the maids weren't allowed inside, and none of her belongings are displaced..except the study table, which had to be drawn farther from the bed, to accommodate the blower..but, that arrangement wasn't without my knowledge..so that's fine i guess..

XXX

And yet, i made a mountain of an issue, when i couldn't locate the last dress that she had worn..it must be right on the bed unfolded..later i apologised..it was there itself..only that they had pushed it to spread the blankets..but that again was as i desired..

XXX

It's heartening to be home again..and its overtly more exuberant to be with mumma again..i know some would question, and many would feel sorry..they believe in the illusions of death..but luckily i do not...we all had existed before we were born..our mortal forms may end, but that cannot be the end in itself..

XXX

The Gods too are there..i bowed and wished them from a distance..i hadn't had bath today..but that's okay..

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Apurva is so good..he made excuse from office and came to receive me at airport..and you know what, he had got me a jacket and hat too..so that i may not fall sick..such sweet gestures..they add meaning to your life..later we went to Amrapali in his new Waganor..it was such fun..Sid too was there..bro as well..it was totally frosty outside..but the sumptuous food lured us for the night-out..

XXX

As i was getting ready for the outing, Rohan dropped by to say hullo..but he didnt come upstairs..i had to go down to the reception..he showed me his I-10, which they have bought only a month ago..he will come tomorrow with more time in hand..

XXX

It's lovely to be home..But Gods, don't let this be a passing joy! Please Gods...be more merciful..

XXX