Finally, I can look into the mirror and see not a loser's face!

I've got what I wanted...and this was important just as much for my career, as this was for my pride...which was hurt, but which I would not compromise...

All this while, people reminded me- in friendly concern- how beggars could not be choosers, and how it was impolitic on my part to let go off offers at hand..

I would not argue with them...or try to explain to them that I could emerge a winner, regardless...All the same, I had conviction in my own abilities... And, I also knew that for some men, it's just not in their blood to be beggars...they would either win the war or be slain in the effort...

Since April 12, I had wanted the ToI... and strangely, I wanted it so that I could forfeit it... for the Hindu.. That was necessary for my ego...I must have an offer from the largest selling newspaper, even though I'm looking elsewhere..

And, by Gods' abundant blessings, I could do just that...The ToI were even willing to accommodate my writing in a desk position, but since it was a new launch- for Coimbatore- they would not begin work before October end... I went for the Hindu, instead..And my ego- between- satisfied..

Perhaps, it took the Goddess four months to understand, that caprice could sometimes be a source of energy...A zealously driving energy, that constructs rather than destructs..

My ego, irrespective of the mood swings it unleashes in me, is also the most sustaining influence of my life! Suppressing that would be my own undoing!!

When I have ego, I fear it fall...and that makes me work all the harder and ensure it doesn't... Had I not this ego pressing upon my head, I would have yielded to time-trusted wisdom, that pour in from all quarters when you are dismayed...

But my ego ensured I didn't..
I waited, and I won as well!