(June 20,11:25pm)

For a long time I have not been writing.. and I believe it is better to write rather than try and find excuses why I did not...

Yes, I explained to you earlier I had been disturbed... not that I was out of plans.. But there was a hurry in my part...

I sometimes want everything to fall in place as imagined in the plan.. and I want that to fall in place all at once..

There is an unmanageable rigidness that stops me to give more time to the issues at hand, or if a plan is not working out, try out an alternate one.. No, I am not devoid of ideas.. but it is the hurry.. a second leg of action would mean a longer wait... and I am not prepared to accept it...

But in all these months since the dawn of the new year, I tutored myself to be more patient.. To allow time for the plans to realise.. and in the meantime, lose neither hope nor the energy to do so many other things that beg for attention in everyday life..

I hope I will be more patient.. and wiser.. and that pacified state of mind would also mean I would write more often..

XXX