(April 24, 12:03pm)

"...Three times Della counted it. One dollar and eighty- seven cents. And the next day would be Christmas.

There was clearly nothing to do but flop down on the shabby little couch and howl. So Della did it. Which instigates the moral reflection that life is made up of sobs, sniffles, and smiles, with sniffles predominating..."

XXX

I have loved the lines, ever since Mr Mathew read them out on a bright February afternoon...in std IXth, in St Xavier's..

I was instantly in love with Jim and Della..

Their love, their quarrels...their remorse, their caprice.. their sense of happiness in little things, all of that had appealed to me and attracted me..

XXX

But who would have thought, someday, one afternoon, I too would be counting my tens and my fiftees...and get delighted at the sight of an unexpected hundred..

XXX

Yesterday, I sneaked into mumma's room and checked the hand-bag..it's the same one which she had taken out on our last outing...on September 4th...when we shopped for her b'de..

She carried a few thousands..and although it was in her nature to shell everything out, 340 rupees had remained..she wanted to eat out, but i thought we were late already..

I took them all...this might be enough for three days or four..and by then, may be i will have got the clearance..lets see..

XXX

People still think im well-off....may be because they have no cut-downs to spot...but all that would be apparent after the end of the month..when i wouldnt have trash to make payments..or clear maintenance bills...

But, wouldn't the Gods have intervened by then and bring me comfort?

XXX

First time i feel happy my readers have chosen to be anonymous..otherwise i'd have the compulsion to be discreet...and that is not how you relieve yourself of stress...

Okay people would be still reading it..but then, i'd not be knowing who all..and so im also not likely to be embarrassed when i come across a likely reader of my post..and then the rules of sham ignorance would be applicable to them too..

XXX

That's nature..like when you close your eyes, you think the cat is gone..your mind might be telling you the truth...but you wouldn't believe that....

We need comfort..and hence we also device ways to get that...deliberate ignorance is one such way, whenever you are at odds..

XXX

Okay Sherlock Holmes tells me two ACJ girls are going to join *angalore desk..God save them...and may good sense prevail on the two perennial suckers...

I just hope they be super-brawny types, who can kick people's butts tightly if required..like when jokes with sexual innuendos are hurled..which are habitual of the two half-wits there..

XXX