Missing Them: Anonymous Polished, Anonymous Defender, Anonymous 2, Anonymous 99..

Like everybody else, they too seem to have abandoned me.....Can't complain....If Mumma can do, others can too.

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Went to Patna Market today, the city's shopping heritage where I had had a glorious evening with Mom.....On September 4th.....My Last!

It still was aglow like a constellation of stars....its sparkling luster, this time italicizing the melancholy of my heart!

Collected a couple of suit pieces that Mumma had so selectively chosen....At Bharat Silk Store....Rs 1000 she had already deposited; I paid a thousand and half more!

Those were the same suits.....upon which we had disagreed.......But, she had had her way, not buying the ones I felt were good..

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Today, those are my favourites as well...

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I left both pieces at Lucknow Tailors......which she had graced as customer since 1965....He showed me another couple of suit-pieces that Mumma had asked him to stitch...and then never bothered to collect...

He'd give all four of them on Tuesday...Mumma would be overjoyed to have them tailored...But, that would be a Durga Puja surprise...I haven't told her anything as yet..

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We had a chain of Pujas yesterday......each a complementary one for the Shraddha Ceremony....The Purohit felt that was necessary...to unfetter Mumma from the bondage of desires...

This mostly happens when somebody has left children or unfinished works behind...In Mumma's case, both...We aren't married, and we don't have a house of our own to live...and nobody who would look after, either....

Of-course, we have some outstanding money, and a decent job offer, too..But, Mumma would need assurances..

The Puja provides exactly that....the soul realizes by the Grace of the Gods, all would be well...and is then liberated from worries of this mortal world!

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My Xavier's friends have transcended human thoughts on kindness....They come every evening and cook me sumptuous meals...

Yesterday, when we went to the river bank to immerse the "Yajna" articles, Ashu just wouldn't let me carry the heavier bag...He bore it all himself!

And then took me to Bachchu Babu, where we had the most mouth-watering Gol-gappas!!

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Unselfish concern has found new names in them....Tommorow, his gang is coming to take me for some matinee show.... They would also cook Manchurian and rice in the evening!

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But, it's unbearable.....
The Pain.

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If I'm going to Mangalore, it's only for money..

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It's only for money!
It's only for money!
It's only for money!

For dreams have all eluded me.........and hopes, wrecked..........in the unrelenting malice of life!!

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Why Goddess, why?
You could have averted this, couldn't you?

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When the "Yajna" was nearing completion, I felt her leave..
"Choli Aami (So, I leave)?" she liked (and needed) my approval...

Don't ask me that.......for the answer would never be "Yes." I replied..

She was baffled....one of few occasions where she wouldn't be able to decide....She still dazzled in Pink.... but this time she carried a handbag too.....which obviously suggested she needed to bid adieu!

She seemed to tell me to swith off the TV and AC, too...I wouldn't...And I wouldn't let her go, either...

She looked at me affectionately....wanting to reason... but the mother in her, making it difficult to do!

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And like always, I won she lost....It was agreed she would live both in heaven and at home!

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It's everywhere there.....The unfinished edifices of bamboo that artisans are hastily completing... The idol makers are speeding up work, too...

It's Durga Puja; the city would soon array itself into a bride!

Every year, I'd fret.....
"Will they finish things before Saptami?" I pestered mom a thousand times..

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No longer.. What awed me into ecstasy once, now benumbs me into silence....At best, those edifices barricade my gloom, and confine me in the darkness of it!

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