Collected the suits from Lucknow Tailors yesterday.......beautiful suits that would have so complemented her!

I unfurled each one of them around her bed....later at night....She'd dote on them, I know!

XXX

While in the market, amid the festive razzamatazz, a slate coloured cargo-shirt arrested me for a while......may be I liked it.....But whose there to buy that for me?

I'm not buying that myself!

Delighting yourself is fun......but it's so much more delightful when your parents do that for you....I have neither!

XXX

The lights blind you for a moment......when you go out to shop.....the grandeur is simply imposing......

But they torment me, and remind me of my grief- which is irrepairable!

Mumma would, upon this season, drag me to every other shop and buy me the most impressive clothes!

Never again!

XXX

Daffodils would reconstruct all of them, and colour them too....The pictures.....some recent ones which I want to enhance, and some very old ones....already torn and ravaged by blurs that time impresses upon your happy moments!

I'm dedicating a wall to my mother....in the living room....The budget was decided at Rs 5000....which wasn't sufficient...

So, I dished out the last Rs 5000 too, that I had kept for my personal security....I don't mind; the wall has to be splendid....that's more important..

XXX

Talking about budget, that shouldn't be a botheration....

You listened Goddess, that shouldn't be a botheration!

Okay, the money is all outstanding.....and we have flooded out whatever we had in the Shraddha....and if that wasn't enough, "He" the trickster has duped the LIC money...and has also ensured the Rs 30,000 family pension is lapsed....

I can't avail the pension as I have a job, already.....and Bro is past the upper age limit....We had pleaded on him to accept it on "his" name and give us maintainance...

But, "he" refused adamantly......hoping this would force us to surrender ourselves upon his mercy.....But, it's already decided......205 A, Debashray Apartment wil never be my abode!

XXX

So, what if the Rs 30,000 family pension is gone to the dogs...The Goddess will have to arrange me money....suficient money, as I'm not going to compromise with my standards.....never....My mom is still there....and I'd live as comfortably as I have always been....

You have to arange the money, Goddess.....Where from, is your headache!

XXX

Shahla Miss took us on lunch yesterday....Another of their efforts to lift me from my sadness...Ashu has again arranged lunch at my place tommorow.....All would be coming, for the Pizzas and cake!

XXX

I'm leaving on Sunday.....My first Vijaya Dashami without her....When I say without her, the inference is only physical....

I have to leave home.....and her......and go....

XXX