People tell me I have the warrior element in me. I don't let faith abandon me even if the going gets tough.

They attribute this to my unwavering optimism.

So untrue!

It's not optimism that sees me endeavour.

It's fear of failure. I shouldn't be alive if I'm not recognised. I should hide in the jungles.

That kind of fear.

May be, hence, I can call it negative optimism.

XXX

Have I become Bathsheba Everdene of Far From the Madding Crowd?
Whose unfounded scepticism entangles her into "should I, shouldn't I" situation always?

Who, for all her trust in Gabriel's love, decoys him still..

XXX

I should be jumping around about the Mangalore thing.
Why do I crib for Chennai, then?

XXX

The Goddess still wants me to be the tortoise.

Why, but?

Why Cant I be the rabbit that didn't sleep.
The rabbit that won.

I don't like the tortoise. I don't extol it's win either. The Goddess must, must discern this.

XXX

I met an old school buddy today. Accidentally. He recognised me first and after an effort from his side, I recognised him too.

He's somewhat the "Bihari type."

I have to explain that to you. For all your harsh lampooning the "Bihari types", you'd still feign ignorance.

Okay, Bihari types do not gel their hair. They aren't scented, and they do not speak English without fumbling.

But, that's only half it. They are less sophisticated; they do not share the "I-Care-a-Damn" mindset; and they certainly are less diplomatic- which is a polished usage for being unscrupulous.

And yeah, they don't ask you to split bills in restaurant, even when you need to pay only a couple of hundreds. They bear it themselves.

XXX