(July 25, 12:19am)

Why do I sometimes think too much?

So what if I am not able to find that best house... eventually I will.. because the Goddess always arranges the best things for me..

And sometimes when she doesn't, it's only to realise later that, that particular thing which did not come my way, weren't worthy or useful anyway..

XXX

It's been long since I got clicked myself for Facebook DP.. Ever since I joined this news agency, there is no going out in the evenings.. I return home 9:30...

And on weekly offs, I am either tired or too occupied with household chores... Earlier, while I was in Cardiff and then Kashmir, i would be photographed so often.. and so well!

There would be so many pics to choose from, to upload on FB.. now, I change the profile pic on irregular intervals..

And that too, I kind of deceived people... I just took some old snaps from my picture bank, and uploaded them with some sort of impression that they are new..

Now, even those are exhausted..

What do I do?

XXX

(July 23, 12:25am)

Lol... I'm hunting for a house, and what come my way are unsolicited job offers!

Yesterday got a call from an unknown number on my Chennai-based cell... For few months I have been using it less frequently compared to my Patna based number, which is now more in use..

So, I got alerted.. it can't be somebody from my recent contacts in Delhi..

XXX

The other party, a lady, introduced herself as the HR of India's second largest English daily... she said they were quite keen on my application, and that things would "work out" over a meeting with the editor..

I remembered I had dropped them a CV in my fag end of Kashmir stay... probably in February.. The offer they had was on the desk..

I politely declined...

Next, in the night, a very senior editor, the in-charge for a well-known tabloid style Delhi only newspaper, replies to my very old e-mail....

Again, the position was on desk... I told him I was already working with a news agency, and quite occupied with work at the moment..

He didn't reply to it, though..

XXX

Anyway, I am still looking for a place which would offer me a grand, open spaces view from the window.. It's difficult to find... Delhi is crowded..

But one day, I'd be living in my own farm house in the foothill of Himalayas.. in Himachal.. writing my novels.. wouldn't that be great?

XXX

(July 15, 12:54pm)

I am annoyed really, now... There are so many things I have in the wishlist, and I am stagnant because I do not yet have a house where I can live comfortably..

I want to change this house as this place is dull... and then they are charging well beyond what this house should merit..

Once I get my house... with a spacious balcony leading to a scenic view, it would be so good!

I would at once begin my novel... which I had in mind for a couple of years now.. and much of which I conceptualised during my 50 day stay in kashmir..

But how do I manage the work commitment? The pace at this news agency is wearingly fast!

XXX

Don't worry.. I would find a way out... If I have a decent house, and good food... and other things are arranged too, I can be really dynamic..

Thats the gift of genes my mother bequeathed me!

XXX

Did you notice once the temperature subsided, I am back to blogging again!

XXX

(July 14, 12:03am)

It finally rained in Delhi today...

I'm really sorry, I haven't been able to update the posts here.. But what do I do?

I have never been in such mess before.. I mean I am really not used to bear the Delhi or Patna heat without an AC..

And God, the mercury touched 48 degrees for quite a few days..

XXX

When it's hot, I cannot pursue my artistic endeavours, blogging included...

But with a generous downpour of shower, I guess I would be able to write this season...

Between, it's really reassuring that despite the long gaps, and perhaps despite the sheen and suspense in the write-ups, people have been viewing the site regularly..

Of course, page views dropped which was natural.. given the gaps... but it's still a respectable figure everyday... and for that I thank you all abundantly..

XXX

I have been looking for a good house.. but without success... it never really took me so long..

But I have to get the right one... see I have settled here for good... Delhi will be very much the place I would be basing..

Not that Delhi fascinates me... it's people, excuse my saying this, are really coarse.. in that, it's over populated.. and people employ their means to survive.. they are not really that amiable as you would find in say, Kashmir..

But it's a metro with all its privileges... and it's the nerve centre for journalism.. I'm doing good in my work... and then, from here, you have good places to visit...

Like Himachal, which is close... I just adore Himachal... It should be my home one day.. Law doesn't permit me to buy a house in Kashmir.. But in Himachal, I surely will one day..

And then, it's just the place where you can write your novel.. I mean where I can write my novel..

XXX

Look I'm not really looking for a very glam house.. It should be a spacious one BHK... with a big balcony.. and there should be trees all around.. the view from the balcony should be scenic..

So that I may feel inspired to write... and it should obviously be a newly constructed, or recently constructed, so that the fittings, lights and flooring and wardrobe are cosy..

I just hope I get something decent soon..

XXX

By the way, today 13th July, was our first day in ACJ in 2009.. How time flies!

XXX

(July 4, 12:44am)

The other time, I was thinking about the poems we read in high school.. the text book ones.. don't they make you nostalgic?

Thankfully, we were in ICSE, and they had a mandatory section on verses in the board.. So we had this beautiful collection of verses...

A book called, Images of Life!

XXX

Even the name of this book, a very touching one which was, makes so many memories rush back to the mind.. and to our hearts...

Sometimes verses can be a pressure.. if your English teacher is not really an accommodating one, or one who could give lively description of things..

While teaching poetry, you need to have the skill for lively description... as verses need to be felt rather than understood..

XXX

We were lucky.. Mr Matthew, our Std Xth class teacher, and our English teacher along with Mrs Roy, was a gentleman..

He taught us a whole collection of Milton and Wordsworth's poems in such enlivening fashion.. Lines written in early spring, the first poem from Images of Life, which in turn was prescribed for both Std IX and Std Xth, is close to my heart..

XXX

It appreciated the beauty of nature.. it told us, Mother Earth had space and resources for everybody...

But then there is no wealth so excess in quantity that can satisfy the greed in man... which is at times unabashedly enormous..

XXX

Here's an extract..

"I hear a thousand blended notes,
While in a grove I sat reclined,
In that sweet mood when pleasant thoughts,
Bring sad thoughts to the mind..

To her fair works did nature link,
The human soul that through me ran,
And much it grieved my heart to think,
What man has made of man!"

XXX

(June 25, 10:25pm)

It had been too, too hot off late... and I was without ac for the first time in five years..

That's why couldn't blog really.. I hadn't been reading either... which I usually do irrespective of circumstances..

And then this job is really taxing.. It doesn't leave me with any time at all.. the shifts are strange... I report to office at 1.. and by the time work is over, it's 9:30..

You would imagine that returning home, eating dinner, preparing for sleep... it must be 11:30-12... and then, there's no energy to write...

XXX

If I were to return home at 7pm, I'd be so happy... I would spend the evening reading and writing.. and reflecting my own thoughts over this blog here..

I don't mind getting early to work in the morning... but I must return home early... and then this job is such that I am drained on holidays, too..

Or, may be, it's the excessive heat..

But, I'm a believer and I am an optimist.. I'm sure the good, old days would be back.. I'd blog more often... and just as candidly...

XXX

(June 5, 2:15am)

It's too much of a neglect to the blog... But work is occupying me like never before..

My beat has been shifted from Congress to BJP.. and though that is refreshing in the sense that the ruling party is the meatier beat, I am having to begin from the scratch..

And in this heat!!

XXX

In the Congress, everybody knew me.. My e-mail and mobile phone were synced with their communication department...

But now I have to get all of that done in BJP headquarters too.. It's very tiring and unnerving to go out in the sun.. 43 degrees and it is expected to go only worse..

Besides they have given me one more ministry... The ministry of minority affairs.. I sms-ed Nazma Heptullah the other day... she acknowledged..

But there's no clue of an appointment yet... And the company is demanding I get her interview..

XXX

So, you see... To say I have been ignoring the blog wouldn't be fair.. I love the blog as much as I always did..

XXX