(Sep 29, 10:37am)

I have become very good-looking and stunning these days... wherever I go, people talk about my looks and my dressing-sense...

It's precisely back to my high schooldays, when I was used to compliments...

Whether it's friends calling up after a gap, or old aunties searching for bride grooms, they surely do talking about me...

XXX

Sometimes it's annoying... I mean when friends compliment you, you obviously feel happy... that's pretty natural...

But aunties... I wonder if they had had a free hand, they would start marrying off possibly everybody...

Even boys or girls who have not yet attained puberty..

XXX

The girls sometimes leave me blushed.. I am anyway very shy and introvert... unless I am in my own circle of pals..

Na*aI*a, my flat-mate from Cyprus, keeps checking out on me... The other day she asked me how old I was.. and when she learnt 26, she was like "Oh noooooooooo.... I thought we were just around the same age..."

"Why, How old are you?"

"19... I thought you were 20..."

"Hmm, I can't help that..."

"You don't need to either... You still look just as good.. I'd continue believing you're 20.. he he he (with pretended blush)..."

XXX

(Sep 28, 7:18pm)

Very very hard times... running against time, in fact... to complete the research paper...

The body always in pain.. and tired...
The mind benumbed!

XXX

(Sep 25, 7:57am)

London trip was amazing... Clicked 58 photos with Madhuri Dixit.. And 94 more exclusively hers..

You know I had in fact taken quite a few blazers and t-shirts with me.. just in order that they had changed Dixit's ensemble, and my attire wouldn't be in contrast with her's...

XXX

And it was such a blessing.. she actually was wearing a pink, I was in red.. a fashion faux paus it would have been..

But I promptly changed to a black coat... the dark shade made her pink outfit look even more ravishing... scintillating rather...

And then, anxious that it might not work out so good in print/screen as it did in real, I again changed to a royal blue Giovanni coat, and then to another algae green pull-over...

XXX

But that has left me flummoxed rather... I am just not able to decide which one is looking the best.. which one should rightfully be the facebook DP...

Hmmmm

XXX

(Sep 14, 5:53am)

Three Years!

May the Gods and the Goddesses always grant her Peace... and since she's mom, here's praying a bit more too...

May she be always in Comfort... In Abundance... Protected, and self-sufficient enough to look after herself... In the Company of loved ones, and forever Happy!

XXX

I dreamed of her, and very unusually of grandmom too... But I'm getting late for London, have to catch a bus..

I will write about it when I come back!

XXX

(Sep 12, 10:14pm)

Ever since I had the emerald, my depressions are gone.. but I gradually realise it's done a great disservice to the blog.. I write seldom now..

Earlier I was spontaneous.. Gloom lends vigour to your writing.. it rolls in.. I think gloom does that to every other form of art..

XXX

But the laptop too is a reason... Since Jan, it's been dis-functioning half the time... and somehow that keeps me away from writing...

I do things well, when there is a flow.. a unision...

XXX

And now, strange as it may seem, I can't access the "new post" segment of my blog from university desktops.. the cursor doesn't appear when I try opening the writing segment... sad!

And after I have returned to my hostel, I am too tired to write at all..

XXX

I did a lot of shopping today... more about that tomorrow..

By the way, do you remember I have something so integral and important to tell you.. I was supposed to tell this in Jan end, but it kept delaying..

And then, in May, something even more life-changing happened... I should say life-rescuing.. 2013 has been a changing year.. luckily it is changing everything that was bad, after mama's demise..

And yes, I dreamed of mumma on 10th night...

It was something that happened after a long, long time... Or may be I have been dreaming of her only too feebly consciously, which is why I do not recollect the dreams when I wake up..

XXX

This too was in feeble consciousness, but somehow, realising that this too would be lost, I forced myself from slumber somehow, and kept recollecting and recapitulating the experience..

Even then, it;s growing more and more vague.. that moment, I remembered everything.. Now I only make myself to recall, we were seated in the dining hall.. and it must be after-supper, as we had prepared to sleep already..

In night attires... perhaps a day's break-up kind of interaction before we bade each other good night.. something we used to do always, when I was a child..

And then, things soured.. her recklessness with money beleaguered the future.. and without grandma around, I was the only one left and obliged, to convince her...

XXX

I was young and hence, immature, too impatient for the role.. I ended up countering her..

And that soured most of the things.. yes, relationships do not sour... but how we behave and relate to within a relationship surely does.. and that's a lot of change..

XXX

I will surely tell you about the January thing, and by interest, the May thing too... But first let me deal the rigours of the course...

Good night!

XXX

(Sep 4, 9:20 am)

Can there be any reasonable conclusion for my dissertation.. It requires a tracing of merits of the Brotherhood and Egypt's military..

Whether the coup advanced towards democratic transition or regressed it, and the question seems to flummox me more, the more I read or research...

Brotherhood was democratically elected.. But can electing a bunch of radicals, with no real regard for pluralism or respect for minorities, and as many reasonably suspect, with hidden agenda of establishing a caliphate in the long run, can really be democratic?

But then, overthrowing an elected regime is no good either, more abhorable when this is done by a body of army men with dismal record of power grab!

Who to support, who to abhor? Pity that Egyptians are tossed between devil and the deep sea!

XXX

(Sep 2, 7:53pm)

I am liking Cardiff... But the dissertation is taxing.. Hardly get anytime for myself... I wish I had more time to do the dissertation...

I would then be roaming around in the hills here... it's an uneven terrain.. from any one point, you can have easy view of the mountains all around..

And some sprawling parks.. filled with trees and flowers of very different variety that I have generally grown up seeing in India..

This is exactly the place I would love spending time writing.. I wouldn't have to think.. I wouldn't have to create the sync of words..

Everything would be spontaneous.. self-arriving... Oh, how I miss Wordsworth poems.. Lines written in early spring, being one of my most memorable ones...

Nobody appreciated nature better than he did.. I too have a strong, hypnotic attraction, attachment with nature.. with her "holy plans"... with her power to create positivity and make things happen..

At least I have experienced it.. and I bet, if you really commune with nature, you would experience that too...

XXX