(Sep 12, 10:14pm)

Ever since I had the emerald, my depressions are gone.. but I gradually realise it's done a great disservice to the blog.. I write seldom now..

Earlier I was spontaneous.. Gloom lends vigour to your writing.. it rolls in.. I think gloom does that to every other form of art..

XXX

But the laptop too is a reason... Since Jan, it's been dis-functioning half the time... and somehow that keeps me away from writing...

I do things well, when there is a flow.. a unision...

XXX

And now, strange as it may seem, I can't access the "new post" segment of my blog from university desktops.. the cursor doesn't appear when I try opening the writing segment... sad!

And after I have returned to my hostel, I am too tired to write at all..

XXX

I did a lot of shopping today... more about that tomorrow..

By the way, do you remember I have something so integral and important to tell you.. I was supposed to tell this in Jan end, but it kept delaying..

And then, in May, something even more life-changing happened... I should say life-rescuing.. 2013 has been a changing year.. luckily it is changing everything that was bad, after mama's demise..

And yes, I dreamed of mumma on 10th night...

It was something that happened after a long, long time... Or may be I have been dreaming of her only too feebly consciously, which is why I do not recollect the dreams when I wake up..

XXX

This too was in feeble consciousness, but somehow, realising that this too would be lost, I forced myself from slumber somehow, and kept recollecting and recapitulating the experience..

Even then, it;s growing more and more vague.. that moment, I remembered everything.. Now I only make myself to recall, we were seated in the dining hall.. and it must be after-supper, as we had prepared to sleep already..

In night attires... perhaps a day's break-up kind of interaction before we bade each other good night.. something we used to do always, when I was a child..

And then, things soured.. her recklessness with money beleaguered the future.. and without grandma around, I was the only one left and obliged, to convince her...

XXX

I was young and hence, immature, too impatient for the role.. I ended up countering her..

And that soured most of the things.. yes, relationships do not sour... but how we behave and relate to within a relationship surely does.. and that's a lot of change..

XXX

I will surely tell you about the January thing, and by interest, the May thing too... But first let me deal the rigours of the course...

Good night!

XXX