(June 21, 1:09pm)

I am not going for Ap**va's sister's wedding... No, no.. I didn't pick up any quarrel or anything..

It's just that I wouldn't be able to make bumpy seven-hour volvo ride to Ranchi.. and these days I anyway don't feel like talking to anybody..

XXX

This man... who has just become 'this man' for the last 21 months, now says he is not eligible to draw the family pension, and hence cannot pass that off to us either...

The shift from "I wouldn't help" to "I am not able to help" is due to continued persuasion from multiple quarters, who hope he would relent..

XXX

Let's see... Somebody is taking him to the university this week to dispel his "ineligibility" doubt... I hope I get mumma's family pension as soon as possible...

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It's been 30 thousands of income and 50 thousands of expenditure for the last so many months.. and this can't go on forever..

Particularly now, when I don't have much to bank on, and when the uni might just take some time to clear mumma's dues..

XXX

And don't think I am depending too much on mumma in even her absence.. the truth is I was fully equipped to live comfortably had I not to look after a rented property in Patna which consumes 20 thousands every month..

And I can't let go off this house, even though I stay here not more than 30-40 days a year.. This's been my home of 13 years.. my dead mother's only memorabilia..

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The only hope against this economic mess is I get the 24k fam pension every month.. which he has to withdraw in his name and then pass off..

Will he?

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And don't think I'm being naive... Don't think I am counting on somebody who has actually usurped 20 lakhs of mom's money..

It's not expectation... It is just social diplomacy and hoping for it's plain rewards...

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I will be calling him this evening.. Hopefully he would have gone to the university and learnt he is eligible... and willing to help..

Otherwise, there's another couple of people who would be meeting him..

XXX