(April 27, 1:16am)

I unfriended this person from Facebook tonight.. it was a quick decision.. There was something that I thought was unnerving, and wittingly, I didn't allow me any time to what could be perhaps a more pragmatic reaction..

In friendship, there cannot be any scope for pragmatism.. that's more suited in a profit-obsessed alliance... where business strategies and not compassion guide the show..

If there's a person who is hurting you, or belittling your importance, there's simply no friendship there..

XXX

But our hearts and our minds love illusion, and usually not recognise the obvious.. In some sense, it's called for too.. since when you recognise the obvious, the illusion is then necessarily replaced by grief and heart-ache..

XXX

I feel the same quietness tonight, which I felt many years ago when I banished this former Goddess from my life.. tore her photo, my possession of over 15 years at that time, into numerous little pieces, and blown them off from my 7th floor window..

XXX

But then, I guess this quietness, though it is more harrowing and intense, is meaningful.. there's no point carrying on something which is neither spontaneous nor genuine..

Life has, if anything, taught me to handle grief, hence I know I will overcome it.. In the last ten years, i guess there would be only 20 to max 30 days a year when mumma and i would be adequately talking.. or sharing experiences..

XXX

So, if i handled that loneliness, that inexplicable and dehumanising solitude, I can handle this one too.. If the Gods do not want me to remain accompanied, what possibly can I do?

XXX

Anyways...

XXX

It's okay..

XXX

I think I should delete this blog too... Let there be complete anonymity, if there cannot be any durable company..

XXX

And that's Sarah did too.. right? So, I guess that would be better.. anyway.. it's good actually.. the more poignant your life, the more deceptions you receive, the better writer you become.. grief is essential component of becoming a compelling writer.. so it's okay!

XXX