(April 19, 9:14pm)

Ok, I wouldn't tell you that I had been very busy ever since I returned, and hence couldn't blog.. you already know I blog even when Im over-worked..

So, yes.. I was disheartened.. only that this time I was not wanting to share it over here.... everybody will leave me one day? or will some people not? This bothers me such a lot!

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Like this Kashmiri friend.. or these three family friends too? S**ah left me.. even though for years she had been as close to me as N***r is now...

But then I cant accuse her really.. she herself was assailed on all sides so badly.. and I guess anonymity rather than our friendship seemed to her more comfortable..

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Naz** called me four times since yesterday... when suddenly everything once again turned gloomy... like the capricious waves of the sea... which can devour up everything, just when everybody thought the sea was placid...

Anon 99 says Im wasting my talent... little does he/she know that, in fact, in order that I make best use of it, I am trying to overcome all gloom...

And I think I have been reasonably successful too.. that old, unhappy look is now not so apparent on my face and in my eyes..

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In fact in February, Mr K* Krishna****y, my old professor, gladly remarked on one of my FB pics.. "Good to see a different Anando... Happy and lively"...

But then, the more I fight my adversities, the more they multiply in numbers... anyway, right now Im more perturbed thinking, what if the Kashmiri friend too becomes suddenly adverse.. like Anon 99 became..

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That would be disheartening... but then, by rule, he has to become adverse.. like, as I said, Anon 99 did become adverse...

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Okay, something on the work front... although Im holidaying here, a very important special story, which explores possibilities of India-Pakistan ties post Zardari visit, comes out tomorrow in print...

Will upload as soon as possible..
Keep watching the space!

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