(February 11, 7:34pm)

Should i make this official today?
upon this blog????

XXX

I don't know..i've never been at such quandary in life..at least not on deciding things..

I think im always clear about what i want in life...what would suit my temperament..or about what is required to satisfy my instincts..which, at any rate, are intense and over-riding..

Im intense about most things in life..relationships, associations, urges, hobby, passion, my craft, my writing..i have never learned to be placid...i think i'll rust if i ever rest..and that restlessness shows everywhere..even the way i pursue things..only that people notice that seldom..

They think im too focussed..but the old professor at ACJ had actually guessed it..he realised it's more related to my own apprehensions and the unsurities that i imagine are present in my life..although he thought i was good..

XXX

Im just not able to decide..being on two minds is so difficult..and for me, personally, it's painful..i become more apprehensive about my imagined perception of myself..where of-course im naive and vulnerable...and under threat from the unkind tides..

XXX