(Mar 10, 9:02pm)

I brought a nice, sudden present for mom today... actually, it's Shivaratri today.. and I had gone to this temple in old Patna, where my grandmother lived..

And where we have a whole diary of memories, of all the good times and festive gaieties marked together..

XXX

While returning, I was struck by the array of pavement shops selling beautiful, dazzling pictures of Gods and Goddesses...

And I picked one for mom... A Radha-Krishna, studded in a maroon designer frame... I bargained it to 200 from 250..

XXX

Will ask the carpenter to fix it to the wall facing mom's bed, when he reports for work tomorrow... actually renovation is going on at my house, and I thought why not take something for muma's room too..

It's another matter, that I am specific about not altering or adding anything there... her room is still the same since she last breathed..

I haven't moved even the tea pot or the little diaries and scrap papers, spread all around in the bed... her habitual mess-up after she had finished her day's reading and taken notes..

XXX

And yes, don't think the gift is paltry or dull.. what if 200, I have taken something which is striking.. will upload a pic of that tomorrow..

In the morning, I went to the old Kali temple in the river bank... and offered pooja to Mahadev Shiv, after bathing the "Lingam" with panchamrit..

It was very nice... I am here on Shivaratri after 2009!

XXX

(Mar 10, 11:05am)

Who's this new gentleman/madame from Moscow?
Whoever it is, welcome...

And thanks for visiting the site..

XXX

(Mar 9, 2:40pm)

Getting irritated slowly... the whole house is in a mess... since there's a renovation going on... and the smell of the paint.. unbearable!

But then there's this satisfaction, since it's all shaping up really well...

XXX

Waiting for the results too... if all's well, I'd be leaving for a short term course soon.. oh, between, the lawyer called yesterday... he says the court fixed a hearing on a day's notice..

and everything was so sudden, that he couldn't even inform me to be present..

XXX

Anyway, the good news is, we have won!!!!!!!!!!!!

The justice has asked the university to clear all of mum's dues without further delay... and failing which, the uni would might just end up paying compensation...

XXX

Now what would you say??

I got the kaal sarp dosh nivaran pooja done on 3rd... and the court settles our case on 8th!!

This is the power of Gods... and the good effects of the stones I am wearing since Jan end...

XXX

Mom's always there... each time I fret over something, the solution comes knocking to me... just as they would, if there's a guardian looking after you..

I need money for my studies abroad... and here it comes!

XXX

(Mar 4, 12:36pm)

It was a good, lazy morning today.. as though the early 1990s were back.. when I was in primary school, sleeping late into the Saturdays...

And at times popping the face out of my blanket, watching mumma do her hair and face or arrange her handbag, in hurry to her morning classes at the university..

XXX

This was one of those, which I call "a child's" morning.. without worries, without apprehension, without either obligation or the necessity to pace up to a rapid world..

Since Jan mid, those days are back... mumma as a guardian is back.... mumma as a security for survival is back... I have already told you, I will tell you more on that later..

But it's such a good feel.. Yeah, Mom's vision and her sound are not there.. but are they all that constitute a touch and a sight?

And sometimes, aren't touch and sight only superficial? Isn't love more like the breeze, which though absent of touch or sight, still exudes its warmth.. touches you and enamours you and makes your soul merry?

XXX

Just had a couple of sandwiches and coffee at my hotel room... watching tv... called up the carpenter, who says the house renovation is on in speed..

And meanwhile also waiting for my entrance results for studying abroad, and contacting editors for the two month internship in this far north town, my location for beginning the novel...

XXX

(Mar 3, 10:34pm)

By the way, I am not going back today... The ticket was RAC, and could not be confirmed... I don't think I would have shared my berth with a Bihari..

They just don't have any manner or hospitality.. and sharing your berth with people who exile you to one corner even when you have individual seat, is beyond me..

And please, don't start your standard lessons on democracy and all-races-are-equal stuff... Go live with them for 6-8 months in close proximity and you would know..

Or take a train (reserved berth in AC compartment) from Patna to Ara in daytime on a weekday..

XXX

Yeah, I should be saying, a section of Biharis rather than Biharis per se, but here again, this section is such a profound majority, that I have the luxury to club..

Yeah, not lying.. Even people from well-educated, urban middle class, will puke on the basin while you are still washing your hands... and will not even turn back to see if they have besmeared your dress or in person..

XXX

Anyway, I told you it's a decent hotel and given that they are charging a fraction of what deluxe hotels come for in Delhi or Kol, there's this strange satisfaction too..

Have ordered a tomato soup.. watching a documentary on CNN-IBN..

XXX

(Mar 3, 3:07pm)

Back to my hotel after the pooja at Tayambakeshwar.. It was another hectic and tiring day after Shirdi yesterday.. But there's certainly this feeling of blessedness, which is assuring..

I started at 5 in the morning in an auto, and till only a few minutes before we reached the place at six, it was all dark and cold...

The breeze was chilling, and I was not very adequately clad.. only a half jacket, which I had thought would suffice..

But it was exciting to see vast expanse of the fields and silhouettes of huge mountains on either side of the highway, standing as though like some giant's army about to attack..

XXX

Hope all the malefic planets are now placated, and I can go about unhindered in my attempts.. I mean seriously.. I had always noticed the obstacles coming my way were rather too often and very unusual ones...

Even the outcome of my efforts, given that I am generally focused and determined person, was unsatisfactory..

XXX

Back to Patna on Tuesday.. catching the late night train... Hope the house redoing is done before Mahashivaratri, which is on 10th.. and also, the results for this university abroad, where I plan to do part of my MA, too are out..

Once these are done, i would be focusing more on my other fellowship proposals and would try getting the two month feature-writing internship in this far north town, where I have decided to begin my debut novel..

XXX

(March 2, 7:43pm)

Reached Nasik this morning.. The pooja for Kaal Sarp Yog remedy is scheduled early hours tomorrow.. At the famous Trayambakeshwar temple, one hour from here..

Have reserved an auto... I'm supposed to leave at 5am sharp..phew!

XXX

Things here are much cheaper... I got this very well designed, and well equipped room for only 800 a day.. At The Great Maratha Hotel...

Considering the ambiance as well as the location, people would have charged me easily between 2000 and 2500, were it Delhi..

XXX

Oh, I went to Sirdi Sai Baba temple.. it was a long time wish, which realised all at once today, when I thought there really was no work to do, and what better use of the leisure than being there for 'darshan'?

Offered double prayers and couple of 'Chadar's.. one in my name, one in mom's..

XXX

A middle class, perhaps rural middle class Maratha family were accompanying me at the Sumo..I guess they were a group of elder brother and his wife, and a relatively younger, unmarried sister..

The 'bhabhi' and sister-in-law seemed to gel in very well, and the girl was pretty and shy.. much like Marathi girls are.. not very conscious or made-up, but naturally beautiful and simple..

XXX

So, once the pooja is done, all my planets will be placated...

I am already wearing an emerald and a diamond; emerald as remedy to depression and diamond for a general increase of fortune, as determined by the configurations in my birth chart..

Don't laugh.. It's democracy.. Both you and I have our respective rights to believe in or disbelieve the Vedic sciences..

XXX

And yeah, the way the emerald, which I have studded on gold and ornated on the little finger, have worked for me, abating my depression decisively if not totally, I would rather call it the sciences..

Mumma was not too enamoured with such ideas, and hence never really bothered to do the remedies, which various astrologers insisted on her time to time..

Upon her death, I can't take chances.. I have to look after my own self, and I would do whatever that seems likely to work or benefit.. besides of course, continued hard work and my personal prayers to the Goddess..

XXX

Meanwhile the study abroad processes, the shift and new impetus on work front, and the house redoing things are going on, in good pace.. So far, I haven't let one work deflect attention from the other..

XXX