The Usurper is back in town today.....or, so I'm informed.....By people, who want me to not let him go off so easily with Mumma's money!
XXX
Fleeing from town was quite inventive a ploy on his part.....to escape peer pressure!
But, not totally so!
XXX
Before coming to Chennai, I've had played my cards as well, and met at least two very influential people...Who are willing to help..
XXX
Among them, the Queen!
The Last reigning Queen of ****W* Princely State....
She's suggested to me that, if I so desire, She'd "persuade" him- which is a camouflage word for nudging him- and agree him on my occupying either of his Patna apartment or the duplex house, off Kol.
The possession may not be de jure, but practically, the house would be mine.
XXX
I haven't turned down her offer of help, but I am, somehow, not very keen either. Yes, if the Maharani interferes, I can easily move to the Kol house...and with my belongings too...But, I'm sure, he'd frequent his visit to the place to impose muted authority!
Besides, I'm not exactly fond of that city- nor my mother was- and would not like taking mumma's belongings into the house, unless it's officially mine.
XXX
And that is not to say, I'd move to some studio parlour in Patna's outskirts.
I'd continue living in the comfort of Grands Pallavi Court....in the heart of the town, and with river view at the rear.
XXX
I haven't been feeling well for sometime now....First, the office is taking its own pretty time in finalising things...prolonging my stay at the hotel, and escalating my budget alarmingly...
And second, I hate the Diwali advancing upon us again.
The reasons, too obvious to state
XXX
Thursday, October 28, 2010
Tuesday, October 26, 2010
I have been delaying this eternally. But if I not write now, it would become too irrelevant to write at all. The Vijaya Dashami post!
I woke up early that day, defying my own expectation.....Navami had seen me engaged from dawn to late night, and I, hence, had not hoped to rise at 7!
XXX
I planned to first go to Amritanshu's place- it was his Dadaji's Shraddha- and then rush home, and pack....and between that, to also see the Mustafis, who had been keenly helpful throughout...
Invading rains altered the plan...I first packed, and waited for the downpour to relent...
XXX
The packing was difficult.
Last year, she had done that for me... this time, I helped myself....But,not nearly as adroitly...The towel was not the softest one, and there weren't enough pairs of socks and handkerchiefs to store...paper napkins, too, were missing...and my shaving equipments, that she had neatly arranged in a plastic box last time, had to be fitted inside the travel-bag somehow!
XXX
The Mustafis were the perfect hosts, offering us snacks prepared specially for Bijoya, besides comforting words and concern!
XXX
At Amritanshu's place, we stayed for only a fleeting moment....and upon his forcing us, took a few helpings of breakfast....
XXX
I also briefly visited Ramkrishna Mission Ashram, where I bowed down to the Goddess and prayed for Maa's peace....
I expressed obeisance also to Sri Ramakrishna and Sarda Devi, who had been muma's sustaining basis in life...She'd pray to them- their pictures right beside the almira in our bedroom- and seek help whenever she felt insecured or sad. I recalled.
My belief in them, too, was overwhelming. Whenever mumma was late from college, and disturbing thoughts crowded on in me, I'd pray to Sarda Devi....and when the night thickened, and mumma still would not be home, I'd nudge her picture and cry....jostle her, and petition her repeatedly to bring Mumma back....
It always worked. I remebered.
Maa would appear at once, like some Gennie.
XXX
This time, I need not.
But, I did pray to them and asked them to comfort her.
XXX
I had ensured that Rice and Fish were cooked this year, too...As is the tradition on Bijoya...
We ate..
The son of our old Grocer, who so admired mumma and who had come to see us, ate too.
XXX
Muma as well.
I served her separately.
XXX
My strength, that had endured until now, slowly began to yield.... like some old fortress, which, although mighty and unfailing, is finally undone by mightier ills prevailing!
I called up Shahla Miss and cried. Sought her solace and cried. Talked to her and cried. Asked her umpteen times, "Why?" and cried again...
Till it was time for me to leave.
XXX
4:30 PM, October 17:
Inside the auto, with brother by the side.
The road was jammed by copious crowds.. who had come to see Raavan Vadh.. At Gandhi Maidan..
There were thousands of them. Whirling around in unbridled gait, and often bumping against one another in an effort to move.
The sight was incorporated with sleek cars darting around amid the throngs. Loud,discordant chatter and a deafening buzz of ringtones punctuated it.... Announcing, as if, the God's descent!
XXX
Never before had I been out on a Dushehra evening. It's just not safe. There has been many stampedes that day. But, who would stop me today? And then I needed to catch my flight, too.
XXX
From among the swarms of men, I am allowed a glimpse of Raavan.
50 feet tall Raavan.
10 headed Raavan.
Spiteful Raavan.
Imposter Raavan.
XXX
But there was Rama, too.
For believers' comfort.
XXX
On this day, when Maa would cook me snacks and we'd light diyas together, I had to go. I had to leave my home, my house, that I had so ardently loved, and retire 2000 kilometres down south.
XXX
Because somebody had usurped 9 Lacs of my mother's money....and 5 lacs of mine, too.. And had had the audacity to bid for my freedom in exchange of that!
XXX
I looked at Ravana, and I looked at Rama.
And I appealed for justice, then!
XXX
He would. Definitely.
XXX
In another three hours, I had boarded the flight. And left the city I had grown up in.
XXX
I woke up early that day, defying my own expectation.....Navami had seen me engaged from dawn to late night, and I, hence, had not hoped to rise at 7!
XXX
I planned to first go to Amritanshu's place- it was his Dadaji's Shraddha- and then rush home, and pack....and between that, to also see the Mustafis, who had been keenly helpful throughout...
Invading rains altered the plan...I first packed, and waited for the downpour to relent...
XXX
The packing was difficult.
Last year, she had done that for me... this time, I helped myself....But,not nearly as adroitly...The towel was not the softest one, and there weren't enough pairs of socks and handkerchiefs to store...paper napkins, too, were missing...and my shaving equipments, that she had neatly arranged in a plastic box last time, had to be fitted inside the travel-bag somehow!
XXX
The Mustafis were the perfect hosts, offering us snacks prepared specially for Bijoya, besides comforting words and concern!
XXX
At Amritanshu's place, we stayed for only a fleeting moment....and upon his forcing us, took a few helpings of breakfast....
XXX
I also briefly visited Ramkrishna Mission Ashram, where I bowed down to the Goddess and prayed for Maa's peace....
I expressed obeisance also to Sri Ramakrishna and Sarda Devi, who had been muma's sustaining basis in life...She'd pray to them- their pictures right beside the almira in our bedroom- and seek help whenever she felt insecured or sad. I recalled.
My belief in them, too, was overwhelming. Whenever mumma was late from college, and disturbing thoughts crowded on in me, I'd pray to Sarda Devi....and when the night thickened, and mumma still would not be home, I'd nudge her picture and cry....jostle her, and petition her repeatedly to bring Mumma back....
It always worked. I remebered.
Maa would appear at once, like some Gennie.
XXX
This time, I need not.
But, I did pray to them and asked them to comfort her.
XXX
I had ensured that Rice and Fish were cooked this year, too...As is the tradition on Bijoya...
We ate..
The son of our old Grocer, who so admired mumma and who had come to see us, ate too.
XXX
Muma as well.
I served her separately.
XXX
My strength, that had endured until now, slowly began to yield.... like some old fortress, which, although mighty and unfailing, is finally undone by mightier ills prevailing!
I called up Shahla Miss and cried. Sought her solace and cried. Talked to her and cried. Asked her umpteen times, "Why?" and cried again...
Till it was time for me to leave.
XXX
4:30 PM, October 17:
Inside the auto, with brother by the side.
The road was jammed by copious crowds.. who had come to see Raavan Vadh.. At Gandhi Maidan..
There were thousands of them. Whirling around in unbridled gait, and often bumping against one another in an effort to move.
The sight was incorporated with sleek cars darting around amid the throngs. Loud,discordant chatter and a deafening buzz of ringtones punctuated it.... Announcing, as if, the God's descent!
XXX
Never before had I been out on a Dushehra evening. It's just not safe. There has been many stampedes that day. But, who would stop me today? And then I needed to catch my flight, too.
XXX
From among the swarms of men, I am allowed a glimpse of Raavan.
50 feet tall Raavan.
10 headed Raavan.
Spiteful Raavan.
Imposter Raavan.
XXX
But there was Rama, too.
For believers' comfort.
XXX
On this day, when Maa would cook me snacks and we'd light diyas together, I had to go. I had to leave my home, my house, that I had so ardently loved, and retire 2000 kilometres down south.
XXX
Because somebody had usurped 9 Lacs of my mother's money....and 5 lacs of mine, too.. And had had the audacity to bid for my freedom in exchange of that!
XXX
I looked at Ravana, and I looked at Rama.
And I appealed for justice, then!
XXX
He would. Definitely.
XXX
In another three hours, I had boarded the flight. And left the city I had grown up in.
XXX
Monday, October 25, 2010
If memory serves me right, this day (October 25th)in 2003 was Diwali....Mom and I had been living in Patna University Guest House, as our house was being renovated...
Away from friends and festive gaieties, I, that time, was sad...But it must have been a special Diwali, as I remember that day more distinctly than I do others!
After lunch, Mumma had taken me to Bharat Sevashram, where I was blessed by the sadhus, and was offered supper....Mumma had donated beyond what she could afford. I remember.
We had returned to the cottage- nestled by the Ganges, which was overflowing that year- before people on streets went berserk with merry-making!
But before it, we had dropped in to see the Mustafis, whose daughter had her birthday that day, and had also had a plate of wonderful Chicken-Chowmien there.
On returning home, mumma called the "Chowkidaar" Arjun Ji; and, giving him a few notes of hundred, asked him to distribute sweets in the neighbouring slum and keep the rest as "Bakhshish."
That was one Diwali when I didn't really burst crackers.....
We ensconced ourselves in the balcony sofas, from where the river was visible, like some sheet of cotton, dulled by smoke, and talked.
XXX
We talked.
For hours.
Till it was too late and blinking eyelids suggested it was time to say goodnight!
XXX
Since morning, I have been unusually low. Courtesy, an unkind friend who once more proved herself/himself disloyal.
And all those slides of moments, which had become less frequent by now, was awakened by this knock of pang.
The morning of September 14..I opening her doors....seeing her collapsing....calling out the guards......Three of them rushing to our floor with an armchair.....three of them then carrying her to the car....I fitting inside with difficulty, and holding her legs in my lap....Reyaz uncle peeping inside and advising us to take her to PMCH, the nearest hospital....But I disregarding him, and asking the driver to go instead to Kurjee- premiere hospital, but 10 Kms away....Frantically calling out the Goddess in mind....praying that she might help....The hospital refusing to admit her....I, upon this, buzzing up one "high and mighty" person...He calling up the hospital administrator in turn...The docs all attending on Mom....the oxygen mask.....the life saving drugs.....a flickering life-line on the monitor....they pumping out her heart....and then, with sorry faces, asking us to see her one last time... while she was still alive....but I refusing to believe that and running away....to home....where my Gods reside......Bro ringing me up.....scores of times.... I already preempting, not taking the calls....
XXX
The Goddess too is disloyal........
"Why did you kill her," I asked her many many times today..
XXX
Away from friends and festive gaieties, I, that time, was sad...But it must have been a special Diwali, as I remember that day more distinctly than I do others!
After lunch, Mumma had taken me to Bharat Sevashram, where I was blessed by the sadhus, and was offered supper....Mumma had donated beyond what she could afford. I remember.
We had returned to the cottage- nestled by the Ganges, which was overflowing that year- before people on streets went berserk with merry-making!
But before it, we had dropped in to see the Mustafis, whose daughter had her birthday that day, and had also had a plate of wonderful Chicken-Chowmien there.
On returning home, mumma called the "Chowkidaar" Arjun Ji; and, giving him a few notes of hundred, asked him to distribute sweets in the neighbouring slum and keep the rest as "Bakhshish."
That was one Diwali when I didn't really burst crackers.....
We ensconced ourselves in the balcony sofas, from where the river was visible, like some sheet of cotton, dulled by smoke, and talked.
XXX
We talked.
For hours.
Till it was too late and blinking eyelids suggested it was time to say goodnight!
XXX
Since morning, I have been unusually low. Courtesy, an unkind friend who once more proved herself/himself disloyal.
And all those slides of moments, which had become less frequent by now, was awakened by this knock of pang.
The morning of September 14..I opening her doors....seeing her collapsing....calling out the guards......Three of them rushing to our floor with an armchair.....three of them then carrying her to the car....I fitting inside with difficulty, and holding her legs in my lap....Reyaz uncle peeping inside and advising us to take her to PMCH, the nearest hospital....But I disregarding him, and asking the driver to go instead to Kurjee- premiere hospital, but 10 Kms away....Frantically calling out the Goddess in mind....praying that she might help....The hospital refusing to admit her....I, upon this, buzzing up one "high and mighty" person...He calling up the hospital administrator in turn...The docs all attending on Mom....the oxygen mask.....the life saving drugs.....a flickering life-line on the monitor....they pumping out her heart....and then, with sorry faces, asking us to see her one last time... while she was still alive....but I refusing to believe that and running away....to home....where my Gods reside......Bro ringing me up.....scores of times.... I already preempting, not taking the calls....
XXX
The Goddess too is disloyal........
"Why did you kill her," I asked her many many times today..
XXX
Saturday, October 23, 2010
Sitting in Lab 7, at the moment..
The college ambiance is much the same, except a concrete walkway that connects the security to inner entrance.....and a beautiful flooring that adorns the library, now!
The canteen menu is slightly improved, or may be, it's just another case of the heart growing fonder with distance...But, a wide LCD, that hangs out in one of its walls, surely makes the food less oppressive!
The mini-labs accommodate the 40 extras enrolled this year!
The staffs all recognised me, and beamed a cheerful welcome....Surprising to know Malini Miss too can smile :-)
The college still is home to me!
The college ambiance is much the same, except a concrete walkway that connects the security to inner entrance.....and a beautiful flooring that adorns the library, now!
The canteen menu is slightly improved, or may be, it's just another case of the heart growing fonder with distance...But, a wide LCD, that hangs out in one of its walls, surely makes the food less oppressive!
The mini-labs accommodate the 40 extras enrolled this year!
The staffs all recognised me, and beamed a cheerful welcome....Surprising to know Malini Miss too can smile :-)
The college still is home to me!
Friday, October 22, 2010
One of the reasons, why I haven't been updating my blog off late, is I'm simply out of clues on how to describe the festive season!
I won't call it sullen, as that would belittle the efforts of my kind friends, who, as if by some magician's repertoire, bore me up..
None the less, I can't demean my own energies, time, and care; expended unsparingly in dedicating Mumma a wall!
XXX
Happy moments of yesteryear Dushehras would come knocking to my heart and impress upon it joyous spontaneity..
I'd be glad...........but only momentarily............as a glumly "present" would soon steal into the pleasant mood.....Like some grave, disturbing thought that marauds a poor maiden's dream!
XXX
Saptami (October 14th) was difficult.....the morning, especially.....the music and festivities were in full bloom, underlining, sternly, the hushed landscape that my heart has become..
XXX
The House owners had arranged for renewing our lease. I looked at the papers fleetingly and signed them...and deposited an advance of next seven months....
XXX
Apurva had come to help design the wall, but Daffodils- the best photo labortary in town- let me down. The pictures weren't framed, yet.
Ashu, too, I remember, had dropped in to say "Hi" that day.. Apurva left the laptop with me, so that I might plan for another day and prepare good patterns for the wall...
XXX
In the afternoon, I went to Recreation Club, knowing already that revisiting the place, mumma had so sportingly accompanied me to each Dushehra, would only invite tears to my eyes...
It did.
But thankfully, only the Goddess saw them.. The morning Puja was long over, and people had receded to their places already.....
I didn't hold them back.. Two big droplets rolled down my cheeks.. My cheeks, that, upon such gaieties, inside the Pandal, would be fondled lovingly by so many of mumma's friends.....
They were moist with gloom this time!
I retired.. Immediately.. In any case, my white kurtas seemed to only dull the Goddess's lustre..
XXX
In the evening, Sid took me on a joyride to the city... There were Lights....There were too many lights.....Brilliant lights that sparkled glory in the crowded streets.............
and then, there was eternal darkness!
XXX
Ashtami (0ctober 15th) was unusually wearing, to begin with....Those who have seen me toil relentlessly in even minor assignments, can imagine how I might have struggled when I ventured to dedicate her a wall!
Her, whom I love above all riches this world can offer!
XXX
No food (except a bowl of kheer that Shahla Miss had sent us).
No water.
No rest.
No bath.
Only shouting at masons, with irrepressible wrath, should they falter!
XXX
It paid.
XXX
By 6pm, not only Shahnaz Aunty had lauded my efforts and pronounced the wall "stupendous", I had performed "Sandhyarti" too..
XXX
Navami (October 16th) arrived like spell of rains upon parched fields.. Courtesy Ashu and Apurva, who first took me for Devi-darshan, where I prayed and wished, and then to Dominos that has hit the town only last week!
We ordered four double bread pizzas and garlic sticks.....And shared that amongst us!
Mouth watering, truly mouth watering!!
Go Dominos Go..
XXX
In the evening, we went to see Ashu off, whose holidays were over and who had to leave for Chandigarh!
Sid and Apurva then left for their homes, and asked me to meet at Recreation Club at around 8.
XXX
Delightfully, I had two unexpected visitors in Shivam and Salindra- school buddies, who had come to spend time together.
So, it was a gang of five, not three, at Recreation Club. Cool moments awaited us. We shared jokes; exchanged ideas; and discussed, among other things, the Babri verdict.
Shivam, the lawyer, ardently upheld the decision, while Salindra advocated it as well.
XXX
We also went to this cosy place called, Khaa Lo, and ordered dinner.. Shivam bore it all himself, arguing he was the only one who had a job and who had drawn stipends too.
So unlike ACJ- where people split even tea bills amongst themselves!
At night, I was back. But not before I had bought popcorns for us and mumma, and had a tete-a-tete with the Bhattacharyas!
XXX
Vijaya Dashami was my last day at home; I'd write about it only tomorrow as I need to rush for my evening prayers.. Today is Kojagori Lakshmi Puja (Bengalis celebrate it a fortnight before Diwali), and I hope, earnestly, the Goddess would arrange for my proper upkeep.
I won't call it sullen, as that would belittle the efforts of my kind friends, who, as if by some magician's repertoire, bore me up..
None the less, I can't demean my own energies, time, and care; expended unsparingly in dedicating Mumma a wall!
XXX
Happy moments of yesteryear Dushehras would come knocking to my heart and impress upon it joyous spontaneity..
I'd be glad...........but only momentarily............as a glumly "present" would soon steal into the pleasant mood.....Like some grave, disturbing thought that marauds a poor maiden's dream!
XXX
Saptami (October 14th) was difficult.....the morning, especially.....the music and festivities were in full bloom, underlining, sternly, the hushed landscape that my heart has become..
XXX
The House owners had arranged for renewing our lease. I looked at the papers fleetingly and signed them...and deposited an advance of next seven months....
XXX
Apurva had come to help design the wall, but Daffodils- the best photo labortary in town- let me down. The pictures weren't framed, yet.
Ashu, too, I remember, had dropped in to say "Hi" that day.. Apurva left the laptop with me, so that I might plan for another day and prepare good patterns for the wall...
XXX
In the afternoon, I went to Recreation Club, knowing already that revisiting the place, mumma had so sportingly accompanied me to each Dushehra, would only invite tears to my eyes...
It did.
But thankfully, only the Goddess saw them.. The morning Puja was long over, and people had receded to their places already.....
I didn't hold them back.. Two big droplets rolled down my cheeks.. My cheeks, that, upon such gaieties, inside the Pandal, would be fondled lovingly by so many of mumma's friends.....
They were moist with gloom this time!
I retired.. Immediately.. In any case, my white kurtas seemed to only dull the Goddess's lustre..
XXX
In the evening, Sid took me on a joyride to the city... There were Lights....There were too many lights.....Brilliant lights that sparkled glory in the crowded streets.............
and then, there was eternal darkness!
XXX
Ashtami (0ctober 15th) was unusually wearing, to begin with....Those who have seen me toil relentlessly in even minor assignments, can imagine how I might have struggled when I ventured to dedicate her a wall!
Her, whom I love above all riches this world can offer!
XXX
No food (except a bowl of kheer that Shahla Miss had sent us).
No water.
No rest.
No bath.
Only shouting at masons, with irrepressible wrath, should they falter!
XXX
It paid.
XXX
By 6pm, not only Shahnaz Aunty had lauded my efforts and pronounced the wall "stupendous", I had performed "Sandhyarti" too..
XXX
Navami (October 16th) arrived like spell of rains upon parched fields.. Courtesy Ashu and Apurva, who first took me for Devi-darshan, where I prayed and wished, and then to Dominos that has hit the town only last week!
We ordered four double bread pizzas and garlic sticks.....And shared that amongst us!
Mouth watering, truly mouth watering!!
Go Dominos Go..
XXX
In the evening, we went to see Ashu off, whose holidays were over and who had to leave for Chandigarh!
Sid and Apurva then left for their homes, and asked me to meet at Recreation Club at around 8.
XXX
Delightfully, I had two unexpected visitors in Shivam and Salindra- school buddies, who had come to spend time together.
So, it was a gang of five, not three, at Recreation Club. Cool moments awaited us. We shared jokes; exchanged ideas; and discussed, among other things, the Babri verdict.
Shivam, the lawyer, ardently upheld the decision, while Salindra advocated it as well.
XXX
We also went to this cosy place called, Khaa Lo, and ordered dinner.. Shivam bore it all himself, arguing he was the only one who had a job and who had drawn stipends too.
So unlike ACJ- where people split even tea bills amongst themselves!
At night, I was back. But not before I had bought popcorns for us and mumma, and had a tete-a-tete with the Bhattacharyas!
XXX
Vijaya Dashami was my last day at home; I'd write about it only tomorrow as I need to rush for my evening prayers.. Today is Kojagori Lakshmi Puja (Bengalis celebrate it a fortnight before Diwali), and I hope, earnestly, the Goddess would arrange for my proper upkeep.
Thursday, October 14, 2010
Wednesday, October 13, 2010
Collected the suits from Lucknow Tailors yesterday.......beautiful suits that would have so complemented her!
I unfurled each one of them around her bed....later at night....She'd dote on them, I know!
XXX
While in the market, amid the festive razzamatazz, a slate coloured cargo-shirt arrested me for a while......may be I liked it.....But whose there to buy that for me?
I'm not buying that myself!
Delighting yourself is fun......but it's so much more delightful when your parents do that for you....I have neither!
XXX
The lights blind you for a moment......when you go out to shop.....the grandeur is simply imposing......
But they torment me, and remind me of my grief- which is irrepairable!
Mumma would, upon this season, drag me to every other shop and buy me the most impressive clothes!
Never again!
XXX
Daffodils would reconstruct all of them, and colour them too....The pictures.....some recent ones which I want to enhance, and some very old ones....already torn and ravaged by blurs that time impresses upon your happy moments!
I'm dedicating a wall to my mother....in the living room....The budget was decided at Rs 5000....which wasn't sufficient...
So, I dished out the last Rs 5000 too, that I had kept for my personal security....I don't mind; the wall has to be splendid....that's more important..
XXX
Talking about budget, that shouldn't be a botheration....
You listened Goddess, that shouldn't be a botheration!
Okay, the money is all outstanding.....and we have flooded out whatever we had in the Shraddha....and if that wasn't enough, "He" the trickster has duped the LIC money...and has also ensured the Rs 30,000 family pension is lapsed....
I can't avail the pension as I have a job, already.....and Bro is past the upper age limit....We had pleaded on him to accept it on "his" name and give us maintainance...
But, "he" refused adamantly......hoping this would force us to surrender ourselves upon his mercy.....But, it's already decided......205 A, Debashray Apartment wil never be my abode!
XXX
So, what if the Rs 30,000 family pension is gone to the dogs...The Goddess will have to arrange me money....suficient money, as I'm not going to compromise with my standards.....never....My mom is still there....and I'd live as comfortably as I have always been....
You have to arange the money, Goddess.....Where from, is your headache!
XXX
Shahla Miss took us on lunch yesterday....Another of their efforts to lift me from my sadness...Ashu has again arranged lunch at my place tommorow.....All would be coming, for the Pizzas and cake!
XXX
I'm leaving on Sunday.....My first Vijaya Dashami without her....When I say without her, the inference is only physical....
I have to leave home.....and her......and go....
XXX
I unfurled each one of them around her bed....later at night....She'd dote on them, I know!
XXX
While in the market, amid the festive razzamatazz, a slate coloured cargo-shirt arrested me for a while......may be I liked it.....But whose there to buy that for me?
I'm not buying that myself!
Delighting yourself is fun......but it's so much more delightful when your parents do that for you....I have neither!
XXX
The lights blind you for a moment......when you go out to shop.....the grandeur is simply imposing......
But they torment me, and remind me of my grief- which is irrepairable!
Mumma would, upon this season, drag me to every other shop and buy me the most impressive clothes!
Never again!
XXX
Daffodils would reconstruct all of them, and colour them too....The pictures.....some recent ones which I want to enhance, and some very old ones....already torn and ravaged by blurs that time impresses upon your happy moments!
I'm dedicating a wall to my mother....in the living room....The budget was decided at Rs 5000....which wasn't sufficient...
So, I dished out the last Rs 5000 too, that I had kept for my personal security....I don't mind; the wall has to be splendid....that's more important..
XXX
Talking about budget, that shouldn't be a botheration....
You listened Goddess, that shouldn't be a botheration!
Okay, the money is all outstanding.....and we have flooded out whatever we had in the Shraddha....and if that wasn't enough, "He" the trickster has duped the LIC money...and has also ensured the Rs 30,000 family pension is lapsed....
I can't avail the pension as I have a job, already.....and Bro is past the upper age limit....We had pleaded on him to accept it on "his" name and give us maintainance...
But, "he" refused adamantly......hoping this would force us to surrender ourselves upon his mercy.....But, it's already decided......205 A, Debashray Apartment wil never be my abode!
XXX
So, what if the Rs 30,000 family pension is gone to the dogs...The Goddess will have to arrange me money....suficient money, as I'm not going to compromise with my standards.....never....My mom is still there....and I'd live as comfortably as I have always been....
You have to arange the money, Goddess.....Where from, is your headache!
XXX
Shahla Miss took us on lunch yesterday....Another of their efforts to lift me from my sadness...Ashu has again arranged lunch at my place tommorow.....All would be coming, for the Pizzas and cake!
XXX
I'm leaving on Sunday.....My first Vijaya Dashami without her....When I say without her, the inference is only physical....
I have to leave home.....and her......and go....
XXX
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
