I'm no longer praying to the Goddess now. I'm confronting her, I'm questioning her. And I'm asking her to be responsive to- what even she would acknowledge is- steadfast loyalty.

She has to.
And, She will.
Eventually.

Only that she wants me to be patient in failure, a situation I hadn't hitherto handled. Because I hadn't hitherto failed. Still, I'd rather defy than yield. I've been passionate about winning all my life. And I love the way I have been. That zealous desire to succeed is what sustains my identity; there is no way i could restrain that....Reduce myself into a diffident being...into the unwarrior-like tortoise that wins not by merit of swiftness, but by the gift of, what the world calls is, "wisdom!"

I have little passion for a win as unimaginative as that. I would rather be the rabbit. And I would not sleep midway, either.

The Goddess has to discern this. She should stop forcing me into being the tortoise, when I don't want to. Who cares if that wins?