(Mar 3, 3:07pm)

Back to my hotel after the pooja at Tayambakeshwar.. It was another hectic and tiring day after Shirdi yesterday.. But there's certainly this feeling of blessedness, which is assuring..

I started at 5 in the morning in an auto, and till only a few minutes before we reached the place at six, it was all dark and cold...

The breeze was chilling, and I was not very adequately clad.. only a half jacket, which I had thought would suffice..

But it was exciting to see vast expanse of the fields and silhouettes of huge mountains on either side of the highway, standing as though like some giant's army about to attack..

XXX

Hope all the malefic planets are now placated, and I can go about unhindered in my attempts.. I mean seriously.. I had always noticed the obstacles coming my way were rather too often and very unusual ones...

Even the outcome of my efforts, given that I am generally focused and determined person, was unsatisfactory..

XXX

Back to Patna on Tuesday.. catching the late night train... Hope the house redoing is done before Mahashivaratri, which is on 10th.. and also, the results for this university abroad, where I plan to do part of my MA, too are out..

Once these are done, i would be focusing more on my other fellowship proposals and would try getting the two month feature-writing internship in this far north town, where I have decided to begin my debut novel..

XXX

(March 2, 7:43pm)

Reached Nasik this morning.. The pooja for Kaal Sarp Yog remedy is scheduled early hours tomorrow.. At the famous Trayambakeshwar temple, one hour from here..

Have reserved an auto... I'm supposed to leave at 5am sharp..phew!

XXX

Things here are much cheaper... I got this very well designed, and well equipped room for only 800 a day.. At The Great Maratha Hotel...

Considering the ambiance as well as the location, people would have charged me easily between 2000 and 2500, were it Delhi..

XXX

Oh, I went to Sirdi Sai Baba temple.. it was a long time wish, which realised all at once today, when I thought there really was no work to do, and what better use of the leisure than being there for 'darshan'?

Offered double prayers and couple of 'Chadar's.. one in my name, one in mom's..

XXX

A middle class, perhaps rural middle class Maratha family were accompanying me at the Sumo..I guess they were a group of elder brother and his wife, and a relatively younger, unmarried sister..

The 'bhabhi' and sister-in-law seemed to gel in very well, and the girl was pretty and shy.. much like Marathi girls are.. not very conscious or made-up, but naturally beautiful and simple..

XXX

So, once the pooja is done, all my planets will be placated...

I am already wearing an emerald and a diamond; emerald as remedy to depression and diamond for a general increase of fortune, as determined by the configurations in my birth chart..

Don't laugh.. It's democracy.. Both you and I have our respective rights to believe in or disbelieve the Vedic sciences..

XXX

And yeah, the way the emerald, which I have studded on gold and ornated on the little finger, have worked for me, abating my depression decisively if not totally, I would rather call it the sciences..

Mumma was not too enamoured with such ideas, and hence never really bothered to do the remedies, which various astrologers insisted on her time to time..

Upon her death, I can't take chances.. I have to look after my own self, and I would do whatever that seems likely to work or benefit.. besides of course, continued hard work and my personal prayers to the Goddess..

XXX

Meanwhile the study abroad processes, the shift and new impetus on work front, and the house redoing things are going on, in good pace.. So far, I haven't let one work deflect attention from the other..

XXX

(Feb 27, 10:53pm)

Leaving for Nasik tomorrow for personal work.. Will come back on 5th and perhaps update you more then..

Actually, going to this famous Trayambakeshwar Temple to get some pooja done.. Mr Bajpayee, the well-known and trusted astrologer here had been telling me I'm afflicted with Kaal Sarp Yog..

A kind of planatory configuration that minimises benefit, even when you put in adequate hard work.. that's quite true in my case actually.. Have experienced that since childhood...

So, on 3rd, they will do this pooja which neutralises malefic planets... May be they will ask me to take a dip in the holi Bhadravati.. Im guessing so.. since they have asked me to carry a fresh kurta pyajama and a towel..

XXX

Anyways.. The other day I had lots of fun at Funtasia Island.. City's first water park.. Clicked some good pictures too ... shall be uploading..

By the way, remember I told you all my adversities are now over.. And that it seems like mom is here again.. peace and comfort, and the sheer security of having a guardian is here again?

Will elaborate on that more later.. for now, I have my hands full with re-doing the house in Patna.. Im changing the bed... actually remodeling.. plus innumerous wall deco-s and portraits.. most of them of the family's..

And since Im very detailed in such things, say the background, the colour contrasts, which frames to go at what places, how narrow or long should they be, it's consuming good amount of time..

XXX

Then the sofa has gone for repairs.. Changing the orange velvet into sea green!

Plus of-course my selection process for studying abroad.. and other fellowships, for all of which I have been writing endless proposals, relentlessly since January mid..

And the whole new stratagem for a major shift/impetus in career, including of-course, a well-thought of schedule for writing my novel, for which I will be spending two months somewhere in far north; not telling you where exactly..

And once again, the whole exercise of finding myself a feature-writing internship in this far north town.. hopefully at a good newspaper there..

I think that would engage my time more meaningfully.. besides adding to my expertise as journalist.. Every city has a soul and a story emanating from it, don't they?

Looking forward to breathe a new culture, a new ethnicity, a new ethos.. and between them, the common human desire to grow, to be well thought of by others, and become more prosperous than we already are at a given time..

XXX

Then there's also the onus of not letting one aspiration belittle the other, which in turn depends on how good you are at allotting time to your list of activities.. In my case, it is not too easy..

Studying abroad, availing a fellowship programme, gearing up the novel, finding internship in an unfamiliar city, focusing on my present job, redoing the house!

The list is endless, and time is limited.. Hope I do not mess up!

XXX

(Feb 21, 6:13am)

Will write.. give me few more days please...

XXX

(Feb 10, 1:45am)

So he was hanged because, not withstanding the absence of any direct involvement, not withstanding the Apex Court's observation that there was no evidence that Mohammed Afzal belonged to any terrorist group or organisation, not withstanding that the circumstantial evidences against him - not too often used to award life sentences, leave alone execution - were if anything, insufficient and incoherent, the "collective conscience" of the Indian nation deemed this necessary... Wondering who and what contribute to and constitute our collective conscience?? Herds of under-educated, under informed right wing activists, with no proper knowledge and hence no proper judgement and/or understanding of the vast and intricate and centuries-old issues plaguing a conflict region, but still, as though by some divine ordinance, have appropriated the power to act as judges?? Or, a well organised media mafia, with bosses as disagreeable and as authoritarian as Arnab Goswami, which more often than not operate as a machinery for state propaganda rather than serve as platform for the oppressed?? And also, if collective conscience were so paramount in this nation, then why single out just one person??? Wouldn't the collective conscience of the minorities in Gujarat, or the Sikhs in Delhi, would have - in fact must have - desired a similar fate for their respective perpetrators??? But as history has it, and as the near future would most likely have it -we allowed one such perpetrator to be our Prime Minister, and will most surely allow the other one too in 2014!!!!! @State Hypocrisy

XXX

(Feb 8, 1:59pm)

Will write, will write.. Give me a few days more.. and yes, my difficulties are over.. I can do what I like now.. as I used to earlier..

It's good.. it's grand.. It's like Mom is here again.. and looking after me again...

XXX

(January 15, 9:23pm)

Why is this taking long? and why are 'ends', especially ones which germinate into new beginnings, necessarily take long?

The Gods, where are they... I don't want one more day of January wasted now.. 2013 is mine... It has to be adequate and organised.. like it used to be earlier.. when Mum was around..

XXX

Once this matter is resolved, I'd be freed of the 28 months of incessant torment.. in the form of absence of peace... content too... I thought today would be that day..

But now it seems this man would eat away some more of my time... Anyway, let me be patient.. I have to.. that's my new year resolution after all..

XXX