(January, 12:21 pm)

Dying for one more take of ACJ Season 2, tonight!
Seems like it's raining good times...id be home Tuesday evening... :)

XXX

(January 8, 1:02pm)

When will i learn to remember names and places?
Look what happened today..

This girl buzzzes me up from sleep, and introducing herself as a Print student, explains how she's really in dearth of deprivation ideas, and how Nishat sir had asked her to approach me..

XXX

I excuse myself for 20 minutes,
promising that id ring back..

XXX

And then,

"Hullo, Sungandha!!" "Yeah.. tell me how may i help you??"
"err" "ahh..umm" "Anando, im Sumegha.....not Sugandha"

XXX

Gosh!

XXX

(January 7, 4:32 pm)

He still likes me.
The old prof in ACJ...

I thought it was all over last January itself, when some ppl were able to finally convince him, I was not all that, what they described, a "holy cow."...He falsely believed i had attitude..and he also felt i had a lot of things to mend..

XXX

I guess if i have anything that i must mend, it's my vulnerability..i cant present my case well, whenever in controversy..and that i believe stems from the fact mumma's never been a woman of the household..she's been a scholar, she's been a philanthropist... she's been just too sacrifising in her conduct..

I see boys and girls of my age are much cleverer than me...in dealing with things, in handling situations..because they have seen their fathers and mothers doing that..they have seen their parents toiling and creating space for themselves..from among the crowd..the harsh crowd...and sometimes perhaps even by devious means...occupying what should have belonged more rightfully to others..

Maa dint have to do that..she was placed comfortably in society...and even if she weren't, she wouldnt do that..like she really dint ask dad for any alimony or for our maintenance when she left him..she could have done that easily...for she knew who's who of the town...but she would not wash linen in public..even if that meant letting go off the wealth of money, put in joint accounts..

XXX

Nyways, i was telling i cant defend myself well...and another reason for that could be my attachment for people i like..and for also those who like me...many times thats just delusary..i realise they never liked me..they just liked the fact that i was good at my work..

XXX

I thought this Print prof was one of them...i thought he only felt i was a good student..

but i was wrong..he sent me a lovely new year greetings..and what is to be noticed is, though i had written to him on his Wall he didnt return the gesture over FB...he took time out and wrote separately to my google mail..

Its reassuring,
very reassuring!

XXX

(January 6, 3:54 pm)

It was a meeting of sorts at Mangalore Junction,
where Nishat sir turned up with 32 zestful ACJians..

He's just so electrifying..his playful ways are like breather to your sad mind..my goodness..one tight handshaking, and it felt time wouldnt be kinder again...it was so good...it was just awesome..it was like all those happy, delightful moments had come back to life again..

XXX

Mausumi and i were the guides for change...we took them to KSRTC, from where they were off for Belthangadi..but not before we had had a marathon of talk and some pleasant repartee..

Librarian miss was there too...why does she have to wear those ill-fitting salwar kameezes in ACJ? she looks so self-assured in jeans...

XXX

There was the electrician too..the one who recorded the key issues classes...remember...sitting behind nalini miss...with those curly hairs..the one who followed not a word in either Hindi or Englissh..okay, sorry sorry..im over describing...what do i do? i dont remember names and places...though i remember events remarkably well..anyways, he hobnobbed in his usual sign languages...and this other sir from the non-teaching staff...he recalled how we had been with Geeta mam last time..and how i had missed the train for Wayanad and then turned up two days late..

Oh it was pure magic..it was like some generous tides, returning old pebbles devoured by the sea..Nishat sir is so wonderful..

If i ever had had space for a father- from mumma and grandmumma's indulgent love- id wish a one like him!

XXX

But wait, "picture abhi baaki hai..."
we'll be meeting again on 9th, when they return..

XXX

(January 5, 7:47pm)

Even when the Gods are wanting to tell you something, it's difficult to decipher what exactly..however distinct the forebodings you may have, you interpret them your own way..thats so common to human nature!

XXX

(January 5, 6:27)

My December salary is credited today..so i hurriedly logged to makemytrip to book a return..but, there was some server error..it says the particular airlines company cannot be reached...and there's only one plying between Patna and Mangalore..

What does this mean?
I checked everyday, it was available..but today when im about to book it, there is this snag..Is this some sort of indication from the Gods? What but?

XXX

(January 5, 3:13 pm)

I have still not come to terms with 2011..for somewhere, in some sense, 2010 has a kind of silence about it, that affords me lot of comfort..

XXX

I had preempted, January 1 could be gloomy reminder of everything that is bygone..of times, of days, that once blossomed under somebody's sunshine of love...

and so I had cleverly had plans to fill up those spaces..with prayer..with hope...and with honest attempts to recollect dreams that are cast away...

i got up relatively early, and after i had washed and changed, i offered the daily prayers....this time, more elaborately...more eagerly...wanting to make it more honest...and threading it with a sense of togetherness that connects the mortal to the divine..

XXX

I watched Gulliver's Travel at Big Cinemas..and then shopped at City Centre..for two of my friends who had comforted me so well in september..and also worked like hell to make the funeral grand!

I have to take something for another of my friend too..but i didnt have as much money...and i hate economising presents..

XXX

I had some good food at CCD then,
and was office by around 5..

XXX

The cell buzzed like never before..it had started at 31st itself, as the clock announced 12..so many people called me and sent sms-es...lovely ones...full of hope..full of life..and of all those magically good things that you get to read about in Grimm Brothers..lots of messages were there on FB and orkut too..even from ppl i hadnt expected would wish..

XXX

A couple of ppl i expected didnt wish..may be they have forgotten my b'de..or may be they have forgotten me itself..i think too much...because i attach myself with others too much..actually i do rarely, but when i do i really start imagining my life around them..

XXX

But as a rule, people love me,
and then they leave me!

XXX

Did Anon 99 wish me?

May be he/she did..over the phone, or over sms..may be orkut..fb..someway but with his real name, so that i would not know..Anyway, i extend him/her greetings for a flattering 2011..

XXX

Im realising my adroitness at finances is just as bad as mumma's..
Of the 22,800 i had drawn on 23rd December, only 1800 remains! And i havent even booked my return flight..

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If i had more time, id write about The gr8 ACJ Season 2!
the exuberant hobnobbing with Nishat sir, and his depri team..

XXX

Tomorrow i shall...seeya..and happy new year to all my anon readers!
:) :)

XXX