(May 11, 4:25pm)

I need rest...it's been tiring..

Can you imagine last year, upon this time, mumma gave me 30k bucks to just shop and eat out..and this year i had been almost pauper..it's been tormenting..

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But the money's come now..and how beautifully reminding me she's there still...caring for me, and loving me always..

Remember i got all of it on mother's day..

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Mom was right..those who believe in Sarda Devi, there needs are always taken care of..it's wonderful that i lost hope, but not ny faith...the Gods dint make it apparent even..my scarcity..

Otherwise i'd be upset..i can let go affluence, but not privacy..

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Save the blog, though..it's like im having my counselling here..which is necessary in distress..specially when you're the taciturn type..

But that cant be true totally...like when im with my close pals, im the one who does all the talking...

i guess im inclined to silence because i have been less lucky in finding companions...may be im always looking for the choicest ones..

Does that make me haughty?

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I was wondering the other day, my destitution actually testified my love for mom...like when she left, i spent relentlessly for the rites...from whatever i had..trying to make it the best..

People kept influencing against it..wanting that i saved....

They said id regret when id be in for a rainy day..it's comfort to know i didnt..i truly didnt once thought, had i spent lesser id not be totally without means..

Guess i loved mom above it..money..period..

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But i wanted her to save...and spend more wisely..so that we lived better, and more happily..and went holidaying perhaps..

Im sure i'd have preferred London to NY...you see im more awed by heritage than new-found exaltation..which lacks history..and hence endowments of art that come along with it..

Mom would have agreed...
for, she'd been to US often..

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Met Mr M, and thanked him awfully...I'll tell you later what smart things he's done..

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But it was a part clearing only..the bigger one is awaited..may be it will take 2-3 months..Mr M said he'll do his best..

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Okay i had a long session at the parlour yesterday..and weighty bills too...but it was truly rejuvenating..

Specially the shoulder massage after the flower-power was done..

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Yeah flower power..i tried being economical to some extent at least..otherwise id have gone for a gold..

It's not over..the second session is on Friday...then when im in Delhi, i'll have the hair styled..my dresser here says i need to grow it two more months at least..

Bull shit..it's already 7 weeks..and it's getting unmanageable..i think if they use chemicals, they can style it even at this length..

Lets see..

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