(July 31, 11:54pm)

The policy matures on 7th; climax building up... I get an anon call today..it was "his" adviser at the other end.. He tells me he needs my signatures on some paper, as the policy is due next week..

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I laugh to myself...as I have already seen through the trick.. somebody who could go to the extent of forging my signatures for a 75k cheque, will willingly give away a bigger amount?

No ways.. the adviser would just put consolation money in my account, and get the remaining recircled....

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He thought i'd be a fool enuf to believe that, that petty amount was the entire sum..since i do not have any papers..

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Foolish..while in Patna, I hv already got the sum plans issued thru the SC law assistant..my friend..and know exactly, what the amount was..

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"Okay..so you'd credit XYZ amount into my account?" I shoot...

Mr PS is dumbfounded... for seconds or few, there's just not any sound at all..

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He wouldnt have imagined, i knew how much it was..and that spoils his plan of givin me a trifle,makin' me believe it was all, and recycling thereby the lion's share of the booty!

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"Umm..anhh..once you sign, it will be reinvested for your future!"

This time there's apparent lack of confidence...he sounds like a crestfallen commander, whose war-plans have gone suddenly astray..

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"Main apne financial transactions apne advocate se poochhkar karta hoon (thats to be decided by my advocate)..I tell brusquely..

But he attempts again, "Aap chahe to kuch aapke acc me jaayega, baki reinvest hoga..aap secure rahenge future mein" (Well, you cud get some, rest would be reinvested..your future would be secure)..

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I was about to laugh, somebody who had had no contributions to either my past or even my present, was there talking about my future...

"I told you, my advocate would know better!"

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"oK give us ur address in Del, we'd send somebody..."

"I'll tell you evening.."

"Bbye"

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(July 30, 2:34pm)

"For rigorous teachers seized my youth,
And purged its faith, and trimm'd its fire,
Show'd me the high, white star of Truth,
There bade me gaze, and there aspire...
Even now their whispers pierce the gloom,
What dost thou in this living tomb?"

Matthew Arnold

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(July 28, 10:31pm)

At one moment, I want to interview Prabhu chawla...do big stories...move around..conquer the world..

A war-hero's determination guiding me..

And the other moment,

I want to just perish..

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(July 26, 10:35pm)

The Kashmiri friend says, Rhea is v nice..Rhea said, im genuinely nice...i thought anon is nice...but Anon now thinks im not nice..btw, the Kashmiri says im still nice..

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Nanaji's death anniversary today..till 1998, there would be pooja and "bhog" at grannie's place..when in primary school, we would bunk in order to attend..and have the delicious khichdi.. with cousin..

In 1998, the last one, mom had pressed upon me to go school..but i had missed the bus and attended hence... last year, I was in Chennai this day...for ToI interview!

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(July 26, 12:51am)

Met the Kashmiri friend yesterday (24th evening).. at Select City Walk... the one who had come to ACJ, among others...

He needed some help for the job..he quits the current one on 31st... he told me, I was very "polite" and good-natured..

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Hope he doesn't change his viwes..and tell me one day, Im faker than even Pamela Anderson's boobs!

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(July 22, 12:23pm)

There are so many of them, obsessed with their body..always hitting the gym and toning muscles... they aint vain...but if im bothered about my face and my hair-do, im vain..how?

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(July 22, 11:03am)

I still haven't come to terms.. were those brusque lines written really by Anon99? or was that somebody masquerading...

Masquerading..i know that wasn't... but that gives you false reassurance.. reminds me of The Postmaster..the short story by Tagore..

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