"Babuji, kuchh loge?" the young boy often pops in to my room, asking if i would like anything.

His is a polite voice, the voice of a twelve year old that has yet not broken. Sometimes, i would ask for a tea; sometimes not. He happily nods on both ocassions.

"Babuji" i like the address, although im not old enough for it. And no, this hotel is not either as old or as unposh as a "babuji" would have made you believe. It's comfortable..... at any rate for old delhi!

They have hired a lot of young country boys from himachal and the neighbouring ranges. Born to the mountains, these boys are immune to the bad ways of big city life. The innocuous "babuji", said with a coy smile, invites you to believe that.

It also reminds me of the old hindi movies- watched many summers ago on doordarshan- where such endearment was common...

"Babuji!" it conjures up a bygone time, i'd love travelling back to!

My ACJ friends- Mohita and Thufail- called me at Central Park today. It was good fun.... A delightful break from the tyranny of job hunt!

They told me they had just drunk, hiding behind a tree trunk and they also wondered to know if i would like any. I refused.

Both of them are joining work tommorow, but looked seemingly less excited for the ocassion. And that reminded me of some other Acjians who- having worked for over a month now- are deriding the very idea of it.

What, then, am i hunting for in delhi?
A kill-joy engagement?

Anyways, Mohita made some jubilant plans about Jaipur. A month later when she, Thufail and few others will gang up at my place.

No, i dont have any offer letter for Jaipur yet. But for reasons, that are some parts optimism and some parts well-wishing, both of them believe i would.

May the goddess let that be true!

Getting tanned in delhi's blazing sun...

Navjot's girlfriend- not the acj substitutes, the real one- says my eyes are beautiful! .........................are they?

Another humdrum day...

A couple of days back, there was some light at the tunnel...Or that's how the idiom puts it! He said he's forwarded my CV to the TOI, n they have responded favourably...

I might be required to sit for their test again..

ANd then, the eternal silence. Or so it seems. Two days is too long. At least for me, who associates with the Present so keenly, as if there were no tommorow.

I can't ring him up, either. Two days is only two days, for others. And it's certainly not too long to pester again.

Why am I so impatient?

I can't help when i am. But that makes it too difficult.
"Wait."

And I hate it more, when it comes unmerited!

My family's new invention: A plate full of chocolate cakes n chicken cooked in cashew nut gravy. Among others, of course!

And all of that to make me...ummm....healthy!!!

Which is defined as 72 kgs for a boy @ 23 with height 170cms. I'm only 61... Nd so the efforts.

Annoying efforts, done with loads of concern...

God, concern could be scary at times!

Do they like your craft, or just the fact that it sells?
Or the brouhaha, that surrounds you when you sell....

In ACJ, they behaved as if i had been a brand. Always, extra polite. And those print girls... though i never made any conscious efforts to team up, they would still give me "the captain of the ship" feel.. sms-ing me to pop in to class, if the teacher was discussing sth important...and giving me a lively "recap", should i miss it!

All sham...Now they have disappeared!

Which tells me, they had been sweet, because being sweet was expedient. I was the editor most of the time.... even in trips like Covering Deprivation, that was supposed to be democratic....!!

And those guys...Who, when they borrowed my Key Issues notes, said: Aap to humare Bhagwan hain- no longer care to buzz!

(I'm not referring to you, Mr ***H...Don't make that the excuse of another falling out)

My IIMC friends, who would make me feel as if i were the king and they the ministers, are drowned in work.

Mom keeps asking. "Why don't you go to Delhi or somewhere, you could try your luck better."

Of-course.....that is then followed by what i feel is perfunctory. "Don't worry, i'll ensure it's a comfortable stay."

I FEEL LIKE A 38 YEAR OLD ACTRESS, IN WHOM NOBODY IS INTERESTED.

Or is it that i am overreacting? One print girl once told me i worry a lot. Don't those girls still pop in in the chat window, whenever I'm online? They do. N dint this IIMC lad called me up only last night? and wasn't the convocation just as great?

Have I, then, started cribbing falsely? I know not.

Talking bout perfunctory, i feel all our relationships too are pretends...If not fully, to some extent. If not always, certainly at occasions.

Pretensions. To which habit has enlaced our lives.

We- diffident crowd- would not dissent either.